GBHFDL

Thanks for being honest with myself

2010-08-01T14:14:00.001-07:00

I've been here almost three months and despite the fact that I have good friends, I am feeling really miserable about my situation. One word spells out my troubles: GUYS. After eight years in a relationship with Kevin, I am having doubts - once again - about my relationship with him. Of course, the the catalyst which so violently disturbed the calm sea of feelings is none other than the handsome Zachary Quinto lookalike, Mr New Zealand. aka. NZ. (His name is so commonly used, it's hard to forget even if I don't mention it here.)

You see, I came to Ghana with one thing in mind - To buff up my CV. But this whole internship has turned out to be more like a melodramatic Mexican Soap Opera. Honestly, I haven't really done anything worthwhile to buff up my CV because I am so riddled with distraction by NZ. (Lol, just realize the first letter of acronym 'NZ' refers to his name.) Argh... my heart stirs up with longing and regret every time he pops into my mind. Longing because I want to see him, I want to go out with him, I want to kiss him, hug him yadda yadda... Regret because he was kissing me on a weekly basis at Duplex over the world cup season. He told me he liked me. Twice. And it all stopped due to my stupid actions rooted deep in guilt - fessing up to Kevin about a half-truth that 'I kissed a guy'.

After which NZ completely cooled off towards me. Even though his friends and housemates keep telling me that 'he still likes me' and that 'I could make the first move' (I did try), all my attempts are futile because of one complication - I am attached. And he doesn't want the drama of being the 3rd party in a relationship. Again, my relationship with Kevin has caused yet another handsome and nice guy to back out of my life. (Previously, I remembered there was a chance with L during my NTU days.)

Sooo... let's now come to the questions that remain - Why am I still with Kevin? Do I love him still? (Oh I know he loves me plenty, but can I offer him the same love he is giving me?) Am I afraid of being single? Am I afraid that if I'm single, there would be no one to bring me over to Australia? And that my career path would be rooted in Singapore forever?

I am deeply ashamed to say that such questions only reflect my shallow and selfish nature but hey, it's time I have to be honest with myself. Let's start with the first question: Why am I still with Kevin?

Answer: The good part of being in a relationship with Kevin is that we have known each other for 8 years. He knows my habits and he doesn't mind me wearing a sloppy shirt and jeans when we hang out. He can somehow tell my next move (Good and bad). I like the times we spent at his house, him doing his own gaming and me just studying my lit, reading or playing with Sugar. I like watching movies and TV series with him too. I would say that he is basically the only person who understands most parts of me. Of course, we both enjoy fine dining as well. I will never forget how much he treats me to expensive dinners. (I certainly have to date a guy who loves to enjoy his food). And of course I love Sugar, his cute westie. The best dog in the world.

The bad part of being in a relationship with Kevin .... well, let's just say that he is incredibly stubborn, extremely petty, has a health problem that makes him cranky. I'm sorry for saying that, but the fact alone that Kevin has to take medication for the sake of sustaining his kidney does not constitute a normal relationship like most people. In a way, I want to have a healthy boyfriend. I want him to be able to eat anything he wants. I want him to be able to enjoy life. In a way, seeing Kevin being denied all these things somehow... I'm sorry for saying this.... deprives me of enjoying these simple pleasures jointly as a couple. That's it I think, we are a couple. But people don't even know that I'm attached unless I tell them because he simply isn't involved in my life. He's only been to my university once - to watch me act in a play, and he made the trip with great reluctance. I don't mention his name in front of my parents, who simply acknowledged him as my friend. We only have a handful of common friends. I can't converse properly with his parents in Cantonese - dinner at his house always contains some form of awkwardness.....

Let's delve deeper into the root of the problem shall we? He is the one guy I sex with. Made love to. Yes, I'm Christian. But this is the one area which I have serious problems with. I think sex is wonderful. And I think the sex both of us had somehow binded our souls together. We sometimes think alike, we finish each other's sentences, know what I mean? That's why sex should be kept within the confines of marriage because you are tied to the other person no matter what. And that is what makes separation so painful because you will forever carry a shard of that person in your heart. I think that's the main reason why I can't bear to break up with him. Somehow a part of my guilt felt that in order to make up for having pre-marital sex is to marry the guy I had sex with... so I can officially say that I only slept with one person in my entire life. That I'm afraid the next guy I meet would think I'm a slut for losing my virginity. Yeah...that is what I had been thinking all along. That somehow I didn't believe God will restore me and give me a good husband. Is that why I've been avoiding marriage till now? Like I've been despising the whole 'getting married to each other and buying a HDB flat, having children etc.' Is that the reason why I ran away from Singapore? Because I can have an excuse of enjoying an expat/intern life, building up a career to avoid the marriage path? To run away from responsibility?

The bottom line of what the Bible says is very clear. You should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. So technically, I'm not even supposed to be with Kevin because we are on different spiritual wavelengths. He does not believe in tithing. He does not really understand the power of the Holy Communion. He does not believe in a God who helps the helpless. He thinks life sux constantly because there is no God whom he can turn to cast his cares and burdens everyday. All these hard facts have been dwelling at the back of my mind since the day we got together.

So basically, I shouldn't be with Kevin in the first place - but so many things have happened between the both of us over the 8 years. I have let it drag on for far too long. And now it's the first time someone crossed into my path. NZ. If I'm a non-Christian, it would be totally legit to date him. In a way he is no-no in the first place. He smokes (was drawn into it), he says 'fuck' (but so do I), he is extremely extroverted, being an ang moh, he has no qualms about pecking the cheeks of girls - this I am still trying not to fret over because it's a cultural thing. (I get pecked on the cheek and hugged too.) Let's start from the day it happened shall we?

I was having fun at Duplex, dancing with my friends. NZ was there. And I was chatting with him normally, smiling like a total ditz. Of course, at one point there were only four of us, Ducky, Jaq, me and NZ. Ducky proceeded to make a move on Jaq who immediately reciprocated. I think NZ was motivated to do the same and so he asked me to kiss him. And goodness knows what I was thinking: oh wait... I can remember.... I thought he was very good looking and it would be sad to deny this handsome guy a kiss. It was almost like dare. And I stepped up to it. First kiss felt awkward to me. Oh well, I was the awkward one, because he said it felt like I was obliging him. And so to prove him wrong, I kissed him again... longer... with tongue. It felt good. It was good. After sooo long.... it felt so good to be desired, to be kissed, to have a guy's arms wrapped around me.

Next few times happened at Duplex, in NZ's car, in the taxi. I particularly like the 3rd time when we kissed - inside and outside Duplex. Will never forget it. I was wearing this nice white dress (apparently someone told me that I drove all the guys crazy that night - was really flattered to hear that; never had that compliment come my way before). Apparently I think I drove NZ crazy as well because the two kisses we shared (inside and outside Duplex) cause the world to grind to a halt. Just the two of us, with me biting a bit of his lip (Tip from Ducky) causing him to tongue me more passionately with his hand on the small of my back. My gawd... I'm blushing even as I'm typing this. Love the kisses that happened in his car too. We were sending the DTs back to the LC house with Ana at the back of the pickup with them. Only both of us were in front with one half-drunk guy sitting in the rear and NZ confessed that he likes me. Loved it when he stole a kiss from me and the goodbye kiss we shared at my doorstep (Like it meant something serious... like he wants to seriously be with me - kind of kiss.)

NZ is a real gentlemen. I slept on his bed twice, once with him right next to me, in his boxers. But he did nothing, only held my hand as we slept from a late late night of partying. I enjoyed the text messages he sent me too. Seemingly talking about normal things, trying to appear cool. Enjoyed the ONE coffee date we had, just talking about normal stuff. None of the heavy questions at all...

Like I said... the kissing stopped after I confessed to Kevin. It's amazing that Kevin forgave me. However, NZ and his housemates got the wrong idea that I chose Kevin over him. On the surface, it makes perfectly good sense. Why would a girl risk 8 years of an established relationship over someone she just met over 2 months ago? But here I am having second thought about my 'attached' status.

Actually, after the kissing stopped, I assumed that the whole thing with NZ was merely a fling, like what Westerners liked to do. That's okay, because from another perspective, you could say that I was 'using' NZ too to satisfy my emotional needs for intimacy and romance because the bf was far far away on the other side of the world. I was really on my way to forget NZ when ACT, his Brazilian house mate told me, on the farewell party night for Jaq, a shocking truth - NZ still likes me, but he is avoiding me because he thought I wanted Kevin more. I cried so much... so much... at my stupidity.... cried soooo sooo much.... that both ACT and Tat had to comfort me. When I finally calmed down, I came down from the stairs and NZ asked me why was I super depressed a few weeks ago... I told him that it was hard for me to say and he said that he understands and that he reassured me that he will never try to kiss me again - which was the exact opposite thing of what I want him to do.

I think this is the regret that has dwelled in my heart up till now. Just this Thursday, Dgo, this cool Jap guy, his housemate also told me that he likes me alot. That I should just break up with Kevin and it will be good. I think he is trying to imply that NZ would get back with me if I'm single again. But will he? If I break up with Kevin and expect NZ to get back with me meant that my reasons for breaking up with Kevin are not for myself, but for NZ. And what if he doesn't get back with me? I would then be so lost... and so desolate. That's like losing a mansion over a hut that wasn't even there. The worse thing for me is that ACT is now overseas. She'll be back hopefully on Wednesday. She promised to work out some ahem 'magic', but I'm not sure whether the 'magic' (basically her telling NZ how I feel) has taken effect.

So far things between me and NZ are normal. We talk on gtalk (with me mostly initiating the conversation). I kissed NZ on the cheek twice at Duplex (Once was when he told me he wouldn't kiss me again and then I told him I liked him so much). Don't know whether it meant anything to him. The most obvious clue I can gather is that Ducky told me he was giving me fleeting glances while we were in Duplex, when I was tipsy, dancing and smiling my sweet smile. I could tell many guys wanted to dance with me, but I only wanted him.... I want him... Sounds desperate huh....

My biggest disappointment with him was that he couldn't make it to Akosombo with us. We went in the end, to Aburi Gardens. On Saturday night, when we played truth or dare, I remembered in my vodka-pissed state, I cried and cried and said that I missed him. Freedom and Monica had to comfort me. I basically vomited and cried like my heart was broken to bits. Worse, Ducky sent him a 'half drunk' message on my hand phone saying 'Where are you? I miss hanging wirh!!!' masquerading as me. His reply: 'We watched a movie and just went for quick dinner round the road but home now! going to akosombo tomorrow ourselves so early getup. hope you guys had a fun day!' Ducky said that I basically threw the ball into his court... and if he doesn't respond meant that he is not worth my attention.

And if I break up with Kevin, it meant that my heart will either be broken twice in a row or broken once but patched back up by NZ. The thing is... logically speaking, being with NZ will only be short term gratification. The truth of the matter keeps staring at me in the face: have I really put God as the first Guy in my life? Have I dared to be single and alone with God? With no guys around? Even if nobody wants me, God is the only one who wants me, who loves me unconditionally, virgin or not. And He definitely wants me to have a good husband who trusts in him and who will take care of me and love me.

All my life, I wanted to be desired by guys. I wanted a handsome boyfriend. Ang moh is a bonus. Ha... my shallowness is finally uncovered. I want to be an expatriate's wife. I want to travel. I want guys to tell me I'm beautiful. I know I am. And God knows all my wants. So have I arrived at a solution to my complicated life? Break up with Kevin. God will catch you when you fall. And amazingly, he will not let your heart smash into smitterins. I can afford to let not my heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (of whether NZ will not get together with me, or whether I will be alone) because Jesus' heart was broken for my sake. I have the peace that surpasses all understanding.. the shalom peace that Jesus has which calmed the storm and the raging sea. I am already secure because Jesus is my number one MAN in my life.

Lord, if I have to break up with Kevin, please help me....

2007-10-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

Dear DaddyGod, it's been really long since I've blogged here. You know everytime I feel sad, I'll come here. Hmm... maybe it's a good thing that I visit this site less frequently because it means that I'm happier? I guess I've found different ways to let go of my sadness. After all, it is merely a feeling.

But you know I'm scared. You know me best. You know that I'm afraid of so many things. You know that I'm crying on the inside as I'm typing this. Maybe it's good to vent my fears after all... so let me be vulnerable for once because I know it will do me good.

I'm afraid Kevin will leave me. Actually I'm afraid that I will leave him, afraid that I will be made to leave me, or that he will be made to leave me. I just want someone to understand me, I want him to understand me, that it hurts.

Oh Daddy, what is wrong with me? Why do I crave the acceptance of man so much? I don't want to be alone. I want to do well. I know I don't sound like I have alot of faith now... but at least I know that I'm under grace. Lord, I want to be a good student, a good girlfriend, a good friend.... successful in whatever she does.... a good VPE.

I want so many things. I want to stop crushing so easily. Take it away! I hate it that I'm so weak in this area. DaddyGod, I don't know what to do. Help me. HELP ME. Help me overcome this..... Hold onto me Lord. You are the only one I can depend on. Not some guy. Not any guy. Not even Kevin. You are the only one who will never let me down.

Because whatever it is, I know you are faithful to me. Faithful to help me complete what I have to do. Like my Victorian literature essay. Help me get started. Give me the divine inspiration, the motivation and the drive to get it done. Whatever it is, thanks for always being here to listen to me. Thank you for loving me. I love you too, but you will always love me more than I can ever expect.

Jesus, I think everyone is very irritating. I want my own space. Oh I don't even know what I am ranting about. But you know what is good for me, and you already placed the good inside my heart. I thank you that I am still the Righteousness of God in Christ. All things will work together for my good because I'm God's beloved Child. Heir of the world. How not to win?

I know I may not be as good as other people in whatever areas of life. But You show them Lord, I give everything to you, my studies, my behavior, my looks, my body, my brains, my essays, my assignments, my exams and its results.... my relationships with others...... I entrust everything in my life to you. I expect to see favor! Tangible. Yes.. I expect you will fulfill your part of the covenant because of Christ's perfect work. I claim all the benefits He has done for me, in Jesus' Name.

Thanks for listening once again. I know I can reign in life because you will never again be disappointed with me, all disappointment has been vanquished at the Cross. There is only good and more good to be seen in my life, starting even from now.

So I guess I should stop ranting and start trusting in your faithfulness towards me. Thanks for revealing your GRACE. Thank you thank you thank you....

2007-01-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

I was transcribing Pastor Prince's sermon from 1997; God mysteries of the light part 2 and I found some parts of it interesting. (It's very lengthy though).

So the first thing that came out of God’s mouth that is recorded for us in the book of Genesis is ‘Light be’. And this is not the light from the sun because the sun was not yet, uh, we see the sun was mentioned here in the word of God, later on. Later on. All right? In verse 14, God said, ‘Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night. Let them be from science and for seasons and for days and years. And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, and it was so.’ And God made two great lights, the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also.’Now how many know our sun is actually a star? ...

Okay, so we call it like the sun is the source of natural life on the earth. Okay? So that is true because the sun is amazing. It’s a star; it’s a self-illumination light energy. And what happens is that it absorbs the sub-atomic particles or protons. Remember we studied about that last week? All right? Once upon a time, man thought that all basic matter, whether its liquid gas, whether it is substance you can touch and feel, every matter is made from atoms. It’s true. But that’s not the smallest unit of matter. We’ve find that every substance in this earth, every matter, every physical matter, every natural matter, whether its liquid or gas even you can touch and feel, even your skin, everything is made of atoms. But they stop there.

Later on, science discovered these atoms can be broken down further into some more sub atomic particles and they find that the atom is made from protons and neutrons from the nucleus and is surrounded by electrons right? You all learn that. In your school? You all forgot? So they say, ‘okay now we know that atoms is not the smallest unit of matter. There are protons and there are neutrons and there are electrons.’ And then the latest science is that they broke the whole thing down, further and they find that what makes up the protons, the neutrons and the electrons are some very small particles of light, electrically charged called photons. So that’s the latest. Which means all physical matter is composed of light. Now there are a lot of theories, which are running around in the world today, all right? Even people are saying that the big bang. Once upon a time there was a big bang and that was how the whole cosmos evolved, how earth came about. But science has discovered that the big bang is more than just a theory, its something that happened in a very orderly fashion. There was a big bang all right. And it happened on the northern side of the universe. Now the Bible talks about God being on the north side. That is very very interesting. Do you know that the Bible says, corresponding to the earth, the north side, now NASA scientists have found out that on the north side, there’s a vast expanse of heavens. They call it M87. Amen. Isn’t it interesting? That the Bible calls God’s throne on the north side. Turn with me to Job chapter 26, and we’re building a foundation here. And the science, let me tell you the science, has not prove the Bible. All right? Whether science has caught up with the Bible a not, can I have an amen on that?

So all basic matter is made up of light particles, but again we know there is something behind that light that produces those particles that we can touch and see. And we are looking at that tonight. But look at Job 26 first. Look at verse 7, the book of Job, written one thousand and five hundred years before Jesus was born. Verse 7 of Chapter 26, it says, ‘God stretched out the north over the empty place and hangs the earth upon nothing.’ How in the world 3500 years ago, without the discovery of modern equipment we have to see into the galaxies, how would they know the earth hangs upon nothing? They used to think it hangs upon Hercules or Atlas’s shoulder. Right? But we know there’s no such person. It hangs. God hangs the earth upon nothing. So God is more modern than science back then. Let me just tell you this, whatever science can discover, can come up with, it is not the latest. I mean, they will say, ‘This is the truth of the earliest man,’ and they made a study of it, they spend billions of dollars on it, so finally they realized that it is a truth of a extinct thing, that doesn’t exist anymore. So during the time it was discovered, a lot of Christians get panicky, I mean, the support given to Darwinian theory of evolution and all that, but if you bide your time, you wait on the Lord, you find that the whole thing will be shown as a farce because no one, no one can go beyond God.

God has established, and God spoke. I believe when God spoke the universe into being, there was a big bang. I think when God speaks, there’s always a big bang. And God says, ‘Light be’. He doesn’t say (Weak voice) ‘light be’. You know I don’t think so. I think it was ‘Light be!’ and there was an explosion and all the gases came together and there was a fusion explosion whatever, and there was cosmos. How many of you know there was a big bang. If the world just collided and the gases collided together and then there was a big bang. There will be no cosmos; there will be no order. Look at the order in the universe today. It’s not a big band out of the blue, haphazardly. It is God who produced the big bang that produced order. Amen? So obviously we know that creation can be explained in the book of Genesis and the book of Job. So now that we see something else, God says He stretched out the north over the empty place. What is the north to God? Mentioned in the Bible more than one time, turn with me to Psalms 48. Look at Psalms 48. In Psalms 48, it says ‘Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised in the city of our God.’ Where is the city of our God? On earth it is Jerusalem, but where’s the city of our God? In the heavens. ‘In the mountains of His holiness, beautiful situation, the joy of the whole earth, its mount Zion on the sides of the north the city of the great King.’ The real Mount Zion on the sides of the heavens is on the North side of the earth, in the universe.

Now, is there anything that science has discovered on the North side? Now before we look at that, turn with me to Isaiah 14. Let’s go down further to the book of Isaiah. You’re now in Psalms, going down to the book of Isaiah, chapter 14. In Isaiah 14, it says about Lucifer. Remember Lucifer? That was Satan before his name was changed to Satan. And the name Lucifer means light bearer. He actually was bearing tremendous amount of light, radiations of light. Now the Bible says light is good. All right? You look at Genesis, it says God divided the light from the darkness and God saw that the light was good. It doesn’t say that God saw the darkness was good. God saw the light was good. So everyone say light is good. The Bible says God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all. Now how many know that we are kings and sons and daughters of Light? We are children of light. He is in the light and we walk in the light, the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from all sin, the Bible says. That’s why we got to live in the light everything is open. I mean, we can, there’s no need to pretend before God. All right? If you have lost your temper, say, ‘God I’ve lost my temper.’ Always live in the light because the blood of Jesus can only cleanse what is exposed. Don’t be afraid to expose yourself to God. Don’t be afraid to be spiritually naked before God. He knows everything. The more you are exposed to God, the more He cleanses. The Bible says when you confess, when you are open before God you are open before man. Walk in the light and the blood of Jesus Christ keeps you clean.

Amen? So that’s good. Hallelujah. But look at Lucifer. Look at his ambition. Before you are kicked out of Heaven, Jesus says, ‘I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.’ How many know lightning moves at the speed of light? Hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second, according to Einstein. Lately they’ve discovered that its hundred and eighty-six thousand, two hundred and eighty-two miles per second. Okay? Doesn’t matter, he was pretty close. All right? And Jesus says, ‘I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.’ You know, for Satan to be moved out of your life, it takes the speed of light. When you trust Jesus is out, amen? And look at Lucifer’s ambition. What was his ambition? Look at the ambition of this angelic being that God created in Isaiah 14. Look at verse 12,’ How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning? How art thou cut down to the ground, which is weakened the nations? For thou has said in thy heart, “I will ascend into heaven”.’ Obviously he was below and God was somewhere on top right?

Now I submit to you, I could be wrong in this part, but I submit to you that this earth, once upon a time belonged to Lucifer. This was his domain. But he was an angel and a good angel before he fell. And that’s why he is so jealous of man today. When the Bible says, ‘The earth has God given to the sons of man.’ God has given this earth to you and I. But he wants to take back the earth, so he did it illegally, and caused Adam and Eve to fall and bow their knee and gave the authority of this earth to Satan. So Satan has authority over this earth, so that’s why he brought tragedy, sickness and poverty into this earth. But thank God the last Adam came. And His name is Jesus. And He got back the keys of authority over this earth. And He says to you and I, that He has given us the keys of binding and loosing. So we’ve got authority over the earth today, amen! That’s why we can bind what Satan brings, and loose what he binds. And the word of God says in verse 12, ‘how art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning? How are you cut down to the ground, which weakened the nations? For thou have said in thine heart, ‘I will ascend into heaven,’ look at his ambition? Look at all the ‘I will, I will, I will, I will,’ whenever you have all the ‘I will’, and not care about ‘God’s will’, something is wrong.

Anyway, it says, ‘I will ascend into heaven; I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, above the suns. I will sit also upon the Mount of the congregation in the sides of the,’ do you see that? ‘The sides of the north’. There was an ambition in Lucifer’s heart, to make his domain on the sides of the north in the universe. Now scientists in NASA have found that on the north side of the universe, they’ve found a place called M87, and on the north side is a cluster of stars called Virgo. All right? Those of you who study astronomy, you will know this....

Let me read to you a segment of an article I got on this astronomy magazine okay? An article by Jeff Kanife (Check spelling) this scientist. It’s a May 1987 article. M87, they’ve discovered this M87, it says, ‘At the heart of the Virgo cluster, the nearest reach cluster of the galaxies, lays the giant elliptical galaxy M87.’ The north side. ‘In a universe of normal galaxies that emits so much energy as the assemblies of stars produces, M87 is in the violent minority. It generates about a million times more energy than the typical spiral galaxy, far more that can be attributed to its intrinsic stellar processes’. ‘What’s that Pastor Prince?’ Never mind, we go on. ‘The emition extent over many frequencies from radio to x-ray,’ okay, listen, ‘and most of them derive from a compact source embedded in the core of the galaxy.’ They know that the power for M87, the power that is generated, comes from a compact source in the galaxy. They do not know what source. We know its God. Heaven is the power behind the north part of the universe. All right? M87 is one of the most important galaxies in research astronomy today.

Now listen, when we are raptured, the Bible says, ‘It will happen, our bodies change when Jesus comes back, we’ll be in the light realm. Okay? Now I believe personally we will travel faster than the speed of light. Okay? But don’t worry what is like to travel faster than the speed of light, learn what is it like to the speed of light first. Okay? Many of us want to go beyond our mind. Look at what Einstein said, ‘In any or all circumstances or conditions, these force of light travels at a constant rate or speed of hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second. It is totally unaffected by any of the variables which surround it. The closer the object approaches to this constant speed of light, the closer its length comes to zero and its weight to infinity. At the speed of light, all natural matter ceases to exist. It changes to light matter. Now listen, when Jesus was resurrected, the Bible says His body, even though you can touch and feel His body, His body was no more in this realm. Even though you can touch and feel it, it was in the light realm. That’s why He can appear in the upper room and disappear. You follow what I am saying? He’s traveling real fast. Now I’m glad because you know something? God has some tremendous plan for His children. Heaven won’t just be a place for playing the harp, floating in and out of mansions, all right? And singing Hallelujah the whole day. There are galaxies beyond galaxies and God wants us to speak the word of creation, God wants us to create and design the universe. God has plans for His children. Are you listening to what I am saying? And each plan can only be done if we can travel faster than the speed of light. Hallelujah.

Now listen, when we, when the rapture comes, listen. We got no more problems. This building is in the natural realm. We are no longer in the natural realm once we receive a new body; we are in the spiritual light realm. That’s why we can go through substance because we are no more bound by it. Are you listening to what I am saying? Just like that ‘Bring me up Scobey’ all right? He transcends matter because he is no more in the natural realm. Now even non-Christian scientists can explain this. Amen? And do you know that non-Christian scientists are the ones that discovered the north side? But Christian scientists can explain for them. Do you know that a lot of NASA scientists are Christians? Many of them, in fact they have consulted them about the Bible, before they can launch their rocket. They know about the mathematical equation of the earth and the length of its time. So even today, there are a lot of things that is not revealed to the world. But thanks be to God that God, a lot of people who think through, except Jesus Christ. There’s no more choice. Even the most logical thing there is on this earth, amen! Now listen to what I am saying, it is said by scientists, and these scientists are not Christians. They said that everything that happened on this earth, when the sunlight hits the earth, light bounces off everything, your body, everything that is matter. The light will bounce off. Which means pictures are transported from all different directions into the universe, from every event that happened on this earth....

1st Corinthians 15. Look at 1st Corinthians 15. We are talking about the resurrection of the body from the dead or when Jesus comes back. Now when Jesus comes back, verse 52, and look at 1st Corinthians 15, verse 52. ‘In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,’ that’s real fast! Now in the Greek it says, ethomos, which means atomic second. All right? ‘At the speed of light, at the last trumpet, the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible,’ their bodies, ‘and we shall be changed’. We who are alive, we shall be changed when Jesus comes back. How shall we be changed? It’ll be so fast that, to us, who are believers, we can see each other transform, we can see each other go up and all that. But to the world, you are here now, next moment you are not. Enoch got what we’ve got, and Enoch disappeared. It all happened in a twinkling of an eye, our bodies, that’s why the rapture, you know I used to think last time during preachers who preached on rapture. Before you go up, you say, ‘Ooh Hallelujah,’ you know, and ‘I told you its going to happen one day’ and some people will go and grab my leg and say, ‘Ahh! Help me Pastor Prince! I don’ t want to die!’ and then I’ll go, ‘I told you, you never come to church, that’s why. Now you know why…’ You know, and my socks will fly up and all that, you know. But you grab some people and pull them up halfway, and say, ‘would you like to accept Jesus or I let go?’ Heehee, I used to think that its like, you know real slow but no. It’s going to happen so fast, that the world will not know we disappeared, until we have disappeared. All right? Now you see it, now you don’t. All right? But the Bible says it will happen in an atomic second.

Now the thing is this. Where are we going? We are all going to the North side. The sides of Zion, where the heavens, our Father in heaven is. Now I believe there’s a whole universe down there, amen! All right? That is beyond the North. They only seethe surface. By the way, M87 has the surface that is amber light, beautiful amber light. You know the Bible says God’s throne produces amber light? That’s in the Bible. The throne of God produces amber light....

So as we go towards the north in our new body with our new eyes, you will see first of all, with light waves out of our new eyes, we are able to see the image of maybe, 6 months ago, in last year when we saw someone. I mean when we attend a funeral or whatever, someone passed away, we can see the person. All right? We see a light wave and when we travel down, we’ll see history as it happens even before we’re born. As you go towards it, let me tell you, the journey towards the north won’t be boring. You will see every single event that happened on this earth because they are all there out there, the light matter that came into the eyes of the people on this, live on this earth, the same light matter is not lost. It is bounced off into the universe. And finally when we come to the two thousand light years, somewhere around there, when Jesus Christ died on the cross, I believe we’ll slow down. We’ll see everything that happens; Jesus’ ministry on this earth, His death on the cross. Now listen, science, people who are not Christians tell us this, scientists tell us that these light images are out there in the universe. But I know why they are out there. They are for us to enjoy. It’s like movie, you know. You’re watching a movie on your way to heaven. What happens is that you can see, David fighting against Goliath, you can see heaven and earth, how it was created. Hallelujah! You don’t have to go to heaven and say, ‘God, can I borrow a CD on David and Goliath? I’d like to see how it happened.’ And ‘David come over here.’ Amen. You see everything that happened. Every child of God will see Jesus Christ die on the cross amen! I’m telling you in that realm, in that light realm, in that spirit realm, there’s no boredom. People feeling bored because they are in this flesh, because they are lost, their spirit is crying out for God. But in that realm you can never be bored. Never, amen! Hallelujah! ...

Now the Bible says those that convert those from darkness into light, they shall shine as the stars of the heaven, He told Daniel. The Bible says you are the light of the world right? And God told Abraham, ‘your descendants, you and I, will be the stars of the heavens and the earth.’ Now we’ll be like suns, because the sun is a star isn’t it? We’ll be like the sun right a not? So we will have the same characteristics like the sun. What does the sun do? The sun absorbs particles of light, converts into hydrogen then produces a small field of energy that the sun can use. And it transmits radiations of light and energy that causes life to sprout on the earth. Now the same thing; God said ‘you are a star’ you become a star. God says, ‘you become a sun’, the same characteristics. You know what happens? When you come to God’s word, all right? The light in your spirit, remember what we said last week? Your spirit is in the light realm; your spirit is in the spirit realm. The only part of you that is in the light realm is your spirit.

That’s why you can know things before it happens. You can also know why some things happen without having the natural knowledge in your head. The more you live in the spirit realm, the more information you get that doesn’t come from your five senses. Hallelujah. That’s why when somebody tries to cheat you, you can tell a person’s intention even not knowing about the person, if you live in the spirit realm. That’s why the story I told you last time about that lady who had a dream about this person dying or whatever. Oh not that lady. That member of the church who had that dream; his head was sliced off at work, working among the cables. The cables broke and his head was sliced off in a dream. All right? The next day he came up and he saw the same scenario and his foreman say,’ go up there and do that’ He said, ‘no way’. He came from a church that believed that the Holy Spirit would show you things before it happens. And somebody else, another Christian said, ‘Ah you are so superstitious.’ He went up there, the cable broke, sliced his head, his head dropped. Now does God love his less than his person over here? No. Both are Christians, but one has learnt to live in the spirit. One has learnt to live in the light...

We, our spirit absorb the light of God’s word. The more we absorb out of God’s word, the more we radiate good radiations of light that produce life. Like the sun produces life on the earth, we produce life where there’s death. We produce healing where there’ disease. We produce glory when there’s condemnation. We become a blessing. The more light you absorb, God wants you to be a sun, a star. In other words, you have the same characteristic as the sun and you radiate light. Amen? So a man of God who is full of light, his bed is full of light. Remember Jesus’ clothes that heal the sick? Amen? Even Paul’s handkerchief touched those who are possessed with evil spirits; evil spirits will leave them, even though Paul is not there. Just borrow his handkerchief. Not a very healthy thing to borrow in the natural. And yet it is so anointed. Amazing amen? Behind the light is the anointing....

God didn’t see the darkness like us and say, ‘wah, so dark!’ And it will be darker. And the more dark, He say, ‘wah. Largie (More in Malay) dark!’ And more dark. And it is a vicious cycle that goes on and on. When you have disease, ‘ooh, argh! Pastor Prince it does not work! All these things don’t work! You see? I’m still having this pain! I’m still having that pain! And have this pain!’ The more you confess the pain; you will have nothing more than the pain. And the more you have the pain, you confess the pain and you have more pain. Before you know, you have 30-fold pain, 60-fold pain, and 100-fold pain. Jesus told a man of God one time, ‘I have told my people,’ (based on Mark 11:23) if you want something to happen ‘I have told me people’, Jesus told this man of God, ‘I have told my people they can have what they say, but they are saying what they have.’ ‘Argh! I got no money! I can’t go!’ You’re saying what you have. The more you say it, the more you strengthen it. You must say, ‘everything will be all right. God will provide for me to go to camp. It shall be well’. Amen! Call those things, which are not as though they are. There is darkness but don’t confess it! We’re not trying to say, ‘this is not Christian Science this is Christian sense. All right?’ Christian Science is saying deny everything that is evil. You know Christian Science? It is a cult. It is not Christianity. All right? God is not saying deny the existence of evil. There is evil. But don’t confess it. Don’t strengthen it with the light power of your mouth. Strengthen what you want to create. Amen.

2006-12-04T18:13:00.000-08:00

Problems are my bread. I devour them all. This has been my line for weeks since Pastor Prince preached on Divine strength and youthfulness. Sorry that I did not update for so long because I've been busy with exams and the club. But DaddyGod has been so good to me during my absence from blogging here because I have so much to share.

First: Exams are over. Daddy God is faithful to bring me through the stressful time of revision by enlightening my eyes to see that Problems are my bread. That I will eat of it and grow stronger, and younger. That's how Caleb stopped aging. He was n't like the 10 spies who saw themselves as grasshoppers in the sight of the giants. He saw the giants as bread, to be broken, torn apart and eaten! And he didn't grow fat from eating problems because they have so much nutrition in terms of spiritual growth. He was able to eat his problems as he was conscious of how capable, how willing and how BIG God is. Thus only Joshua and him (From their generation) made it into the promised land. And 85 years later, Caleb can tell Joshua to give him Hebron (Where the strongest giant lived) and he conquered Hebron with his 3 sons! He was as strong for WAR today as he was 40 years ago.

I believe the same supernatural rejuvenating strength is coursing through my veins as I type (Or speak) because throughout this revision period, I felt mostly a sense of peace and Rest. My Daddy God is good. Even though I studied in a crowded Coffee Bean in Parkway Parade, He made the Gramaphone shop play Corrine May's CD which comprises of Christmas Carols and other forms of soothing music, like II Divo. I think its divine that my last paper was on the 1st of December, where the whole world starts to rejoice about Jesus's birth. It's impossible not to be conscious of Jesus at this time of the year, especially when you're studying.... I'm so blessed.

Oh yeah, I trust (I Know) that my exam results are good. I am expecting a B average (No Cs in Jesus' Name! Not one! ~ I am a King Priest and by my word, every controversy and every assult will be settled!) Amen! And I shall get the modules I want for next sem! (The prayers of the Righteous avail much to God).

Another area of blessing is weight loss! Heehee.... I lost 3 kg (Permanently) and I am on my way to losing another 5kg more to reach my ideal. Confessing over your weight everyday really helped (Thanks Pastor Mark for your weight loss testimony). Its good to have a faith picture instead of looking in the mirror and see all your imperfections. I know I'm already beautiful because my Daddy God says so. (I am fearfully and wonderfully made. No blemishes, no pimples, no scars, no unsightly veins, no wrinkles, no eyebags (Praise God!) and no blackheads on my face and on my skin. Already, people told me I look energetic and different. (Favor of God) and those people whom I just got to know told me I look like I'm 18 years old. YAY! (I think my younger sister looks older than me.)

Another thing that I'm believing in, is that God will resolve my unpaid phone bills. (All of them! By the end of the week!) I don't know how, but I know He's going to do it. Because Daddy God is faithful. Yes. I do not live according to my meagre resources in POSB, I live according to His super-abundant riches of Heaven. Money will pour into my account from all directions (The wealth of the sinner belongs to me! The Righteous!) I have a generous heart. I can afford to spent because I have more than enough. And because I have more than enough, I can afford to bless others! In Jesus Name Amen! Daddy God has already taken care of my money! I have more than enough to shop for December and January! He stretches my dollar and gives me the best shopping deals in town and in KL (Where I'm going) I have the money in Jesus Name!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......................... This is life!

2006-07-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

Why did God choose to write the Bible in Hebrew and Greek?

-Hebrew is the world's most poetic language which can portray the wisdom of God in picturesque form. It is the best language to sing praises and worship God. Eg. Songs of Solomon, Proverbs and Psalms.
-Greek is the world's most precise language. When God describes the finished work of Christ in the New testament, He chose Greek because it describes, defines and elaborates Christ's finished work as it is, leaving no chance for fallacy. God did this because He wants us to know the extent of what Christ did for us, why Christ did it and how to get the blessing, by resting.

A Principle you can use on a daily basis which will bless every area in your life. The word 'Blessing' in Hebrew is 'Barak', which also can translate as 'bowing your knee'.

When you honor God, you are blessing God. Honor in the Hebrew is very rich in it's meaning. Honor is 'Kabat' /noun is 'Kabot', which means 'heavy weight', to lend weight, to give meaning.

When you honor God, you are giving weight to His presence and to His words. Honoring someone is treating the person as important in my life. So take God and His word seriously!

Likewise the opposite of blessing is cursing 'Kalal', which means to 'lightly esteem'. 'Aral', it's noun, is to make light of the situation. Thus, when you take a person lightly, and you ignore what they say, you are cursing them without knowing it.

To Bless is to say good words. Balam blessed Israel, saying 'God does not see any sin in Israel'.
To curse is to say bad words. Jesus cursed the fig tree,' no man eat fruit from you hereafter forever.'

Thus, bad words tantamount to a curse. So say only good things so that you can see good days ahead. God's blessing makes you rich, and your toilsome labour adds nothing to it.

-Have a listening heart, to pick up the words and feelings of people whom you treat as 'little'. You bless by paying attention, listening to what they really want to say. Because when you ignore or take people lightly, you curse them. And when you do, remember that whatever you curse withers and falls away. -Don't curse the wrong thing!

Deutronomy 27:16 says 'Curse is he who shows contempt'. Thus, honor your parents especially, by giving heed to what they say, their advice, because if you ignore them, you curse them. Don't curse them. Bless them by listening.

1st Peter 3 ' Give honor that your prayers will not be hindered'. Give weight by thanking God.

-If you talk about what the devil is doing in your life, you are ignoring (cursing) God's will in your life and in doing so, you are honoring (blessing) the devil! Don't do that!

The 12 spies of Israel: 10 of them did that. They gave an evil report to Moses about Giants in the land and 'we are only grasshoppers in their sight'. Numbers 13:27-33 revealed that their report did not even mention God. They took God lightly by ignoring His presence. How? By not talking about His power, by not trusting Him, by not leaning on His promises for them. They curse God- and they died on the same day.

By Joshua and Caleb are different! In their report, God was present in whatever they say, 'The Lord will deliever us' / 'The giants are our bread!' They made light of their problems and God kept them alive. They were the only two from the previous generation to enter the promise land because they blessed God with their words! You can do that too!

And God is so faithful! He made sure they were the only two from their generation who entered the promised land. And 40 years later, Caleb at 80 years old was as strong as he was 40 years ago, still a conqueror and giant killer! God renewed his youth!

No one sees reality like God. There are 2 kinds of realities. The positive and the negative. Blessing and cursing. Choose Blessing which God has already set in front of you.

When you choose to see the blessings (no matter how little they are in your life) your heart desires to thank God for what He has done. And when you thank God, by being so grateful, you start to appreciate God and stop complaining. You know what? You make God like you very much!

He likes being with people who are appreciative of what He has done. When you thank God, you bless God. Remember, no one can out-bless God because God is a debtor to nobody. You can be certain that you'll be overwhelmed with blessings. Be God-conscious! Not devil conscious.

Your blessings does not depend on circumstances. You are blessed because of what Jesus done on the cross! You live to magnify Jesus in your life. This is faith. Not being affected by circumstances around you (no matter how bad they are).

When you are God-conscious, all things, all circumstances will abound for your good only! All things will turn around, bless and favour you! Because God is faithful to what Jesus did! Recognise that! The devil is powerless because Jesus has already defanged him at the cross.

Even Jesus Himself gave thanks! Give thanks and the blessings flow in your life. 'Sharma' in Hebrew means 'take heed'. To whatever you give heed to, you preserve and protect it in your life. I give heed to God's word and His promises in my life and I see them well preserved and they continue to stay in my life.

Thanking God for what little we have. Daddy God, I thank God that I have a boyfriend to love. I thank God that I have a family that is Christ centered. I thank God that I can go Korea to worship you and get to know you more. I thank God that I am given the chance to go university and study. I thank God for my body, so toned, so fit, so slim and so beautiful. I thank God for my face, so gorgeous, so blessed, so favoured, so loved, so fair!

The highest form of resistance is to ignore the person. So there's one idiot you have every reason and you must insult. The devil! So from now onwards, ignore the bastard. Because he is not worth your time at all. He is the prince of pride. Hurt his ego! He canot stand to be ignored.

Be like Jesus. When Jesus and His disciples went over to the other side, halfway, the devil concocted up a storm that shook the disciples to fear. Everyone panicked on the boat, except Jesus. What was He doing? Jesus was sleeping! And what woke our saviour up? Not the storm!

Like us, Jesus likes sleeping during rainy days, He know rainy days are the best to sleep! So comfortable and so cozy! Lesson you can learn from here: when the devil purposely rains in your life, be like Jesus and go to sleep, ignoring the storm.... rest because the storm will eventually pass away and you rest holding onto the promise that you know, that you know, that you know, that you know, that you know, that God is faithful and God will surely bring you over to the other side of success!!!! As you sleep, Jesus gets up and says 'Peace', and calm the storm! Rest, be still and Jesus calms the storm.

He woke up for the sake of His disciples, who forced Him to wake up! Even if you fail to keep still, when you call out to Jesus, He will rise up a standard against the storm and says 'Peace'. Against Peace, the devil's storm cannot stand. And immediately, when you rest on His peace, the storm withers and fades away. I have Shalom.

1st Samuel 17:25-31 (Story of David visiting his brother on the battle camp) Eliab, his older brother was jealous of David when he declared Goliath as an uncircumcised phlistine who dared to defy the armies of God. He said bad things to David, saying that David is just a show-off.

But look what David did; he turned away from Eliab to another soldier, ignoring Eliab! David learnt how to turn his back because he learnt how to give weight to God's presence and power.

Jesus, before raising Jairus' daughter, had to chase out all the mourners from the room, before He says, 'Tabitha, arise' and brought the girl back to life. Ignore the negativity in your life. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!!! I love you!

The Lord is my Shepherd

2006-04-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

-Hebrews 13:20-21 'Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, the great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, / make you conplete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever, amen.'

The title God wants us to know His by; 'Great Shepherd of the sheep'. Jesus tells Peter to feed His flock. Psalms 23 ' The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want'. Do not let this Psalm become overfamiliar to you. Be teachable to new revelations.

John 10:10 'The thief dos not come except to steal, kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.'

V9: 'I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.' / Jesus portrays Himself as the Good Shepherd who gave His life for the sheep, therefore He cannot be the thief! He has more than enough for Himself. And He wants to give me more, till I overflow with Blessings!

-Unless you see the Lord as your Shepherd, you cannot see prosperity in your life. You need to understand this relationship that you are a sheep of God's flock and your Shepherd takes good care of you.

-All great man of God were formerly Shepherds. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David etc. They know how it is like for the Shepherd to sacrifice himself for his sheep. David stuck his hands into the lion's mouth to rescue the lamb, before killing the lion. How much more God? Your Shepherd who stuck His right hand (Jesus) into the loins of Death and rescued you from hell? He climb every rock, every dangerous path where you've wandered off, he fought off wolves and rough terrains and unfathomable weathers just to track you down and save you! He didn't need to do that, but He did! Because He loves you! He loves this little lost lamb soo much that He willingly goes to the cross for You!

Just to see you saved, healed, prosperous, smart, Just to see you get good results. Remember, Jesus is the one who GAVE you good results. You already have GOOD results for your exams! Already! I receive it in Jesus Name. Humbly, graciously, with good expectations that all my papers this semester exceeds all my expectations. I see myself looking at my result slip with tears of Joy and Bewilderment, asking, ' How can GOD be THIS good! This is too good to be true!' And in my heart, You prompt me that it is true, and my heart confirms that You have been faithful, even until now. Good results comes by knowing how good YOu are to me. Of how much You paid for my freedom. Freedom not to worry about anything, which includes the exams. You took away that worry of the lack of time for revision. You took away the worry of making and made mistakes in the exams. You took away the fear of not being able to answer the questions correctly. All these you took away from me, because You love me, and because You have given me the final result even before the exam ended!

And YOu know the final result is GOOOOODDDD~!!!!! A A A A A A A A ..... TOo good to be true. Lord.... today, your sheep asks you to prosper her revision of business finance. Exceed my expectations Lord. Exceed it...... I'm awaiting your surprise! I love you too, Lord, because You first show Your love to me.

A Good Friday dedication!

2006-04-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

Today is the day where all Christians should be happy. It is because Jesus Christ died and cleansed us of all our sins. He suffered on the cross, was scourged for my sickness so that I can be physically healthy and fit. He took away every curse of the old testament law that was given by Moses. I'm so glad that in spite of my weakness, I can boast in His goodness for me always.

I'm very touched by the fact that a Man is willing to die for such a scum like me. I simply don't deserve His sacrifice at all. So whatever good you see in my life, it is from God the Father, who puts me in the Beloved, to make me His righteousness. Good news?! Some people cannot accept it because it is too good and their hearts have been numbed by all the sadness of the world. Not me. I embrace this truth because it is what keeps me going in life. Without it, I am just existing in this world. There is no way I can be a testimony of myself, to Him. In the areas that I have been a blessing, it is the areas where He has changed me.

And I'm still changing. It takes a lifetime to understand the goodness of God. And it starts from the day I accepted and acknowledged His sacrifice at the Cross for my sake, my sake! Such a precious gift, how can I slap it away? How can I? But some people do, because they do not see value in His priceless gift. I'm including Christians in here as well. Salvation doesn't mean saved from hell only.... eternal life doesn't start in heaven....

The goodness of God starts now! Once you believe in your heart and speak from your mouth, Jesus Christ is my saviour and Lord, you shall be saved. Your spirit man is revived and you are spiritually seated at the Right hand of God. A position of favour, power, and love. This is where my spirit man is right now.... despite what I feel, despite what happens around me.

There are two kinds of decisions one has to make everyday... to follow one's flesh or to follow God. Sadly to say, I do not always follow God, because I still have a certain amount of pride in me. And I still need to have my heart changed in this area. But to think that even I do not follow Him, and I make stupid and regretful decisions in my life that create pain and sufferings for myself, HE STILL LOVES ME.

Incredible! No one who loves me can avoid scolding or chiding me for my wrongdoings except Him. I asked Him why and He told me that 'your sins and your wrongdoing, I remember no more'. Once, He was angry at me.... That was 2000 years ago, when Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross. Innocent as He is, He submit to God's will to save me and absorbed all the stain of my sins onto His body. God, Elohim, the Holy God saw all the unholiness on Jesus, and God judged and punished Jesus with His holy Wrath of fire and judgment on his body.... lashed it out full.... as if Jesus was I.

But the only this is... I was not on the cross, but my sins were. My sins had left me because Jesus took them. He took away my judgement. He took away my consequences. He took away my sufferings. He took away my condemnation. He took away my vulnerability, He took away my poverty... to make me Accepted, Righteous before God, prosperous, Beloved one who reign in Life! Why Why Why? I cannot explain except that HE LOVES ME...

If you are a sane human being being offered a chance to eradicate your sins through the sufferings of someone who loves you with an unconditional love, how can you refuse? How can you? So, in my shitty state, I humbly accept what He has done for me. I humbly accept the inheritance He has install for me, I humbly accept the overflowing blessings poured forth for me to say Thank You Jesus, Thank You DaddyGod for what you did to redeem me. I remember this Good Friday specially because to remind me of how good you are despite my humane state. You couldn't care less because at the right hand of God, I'm as perfect as Jesus because I've been cleansed so thoroughly to the extent Your Holy Spirit dwells in my physical body in this world.

I need not fear the devil, nor circumstance. Because the Holy Spirit guides me with peace and unrest. Unrest to tell me to avoid some paths that will land myself into danger. Thank God that You have also given me the power to dictate my life! To speak good! You laid before me after Your sacrifice... blessing and cursing. You asked me to choose blessing because you know it will make me happy... and today, I choose to be blessed.

I declare as an acceptance of your power unto me; My results for HL103 is good! Not because of what I do! No! But because of your favour all over my paper! If God is for me, who can be against me? Dr J cannot be against me because he is lesser than God. And surely, I will have a good grade unto the glory of God. I will get more than a B for HL103. No Cs at all for all my exams, in Jesus Name. For whatever I say, when I do not doubt, but believe in my heart and say, I SHALL HAVE WHATSOEVER I SAY!!! HAllelujah for Good Friday! Because it is the day the church is being born! The day power that was the devil's to rule the earth has been shifted to me, a Child of God! Nothing can stop me from having good results! NOTHING!

Because you have made me a High Priest and a King. And where the word of a King is, there is power! I am of the Royal Priesthood and by my word, EVERY CONTROVERSY AND EVERY ASSULT IS SETTLED!!!! I have what I say so! And so I declare by the goodness of God I am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved by Jesus who died for me and ressurected me in Him! I rest in His goodness and mercy that followeth me all the days of my life. And I look forward with good expectation to good results beyond my imagination! Thank God for Good Friday!

The prayer of Faith changes things, And I am determine to change Kevin's life!

2006-01-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 21:5

'Then the priests, the sons of Levi, shall come near, for the Lord your God has chosen them to minister to Him and to bless in the name of the Lord; by their word every controversy and every assault shall be settled.'

Hebrews 7:17

'For He testifies: " You are a priest forever According to the order of Melchizedek." '

Dear Daddy God, if the Levithian priesthood, faulty under the old covenant of the law, had power in their words to settle every controversy and assault just by speaking, how much more Your Righteousness in Christ; me? I am under the Royal Priesthood of Mechizedek who sat down at the Right hand of God and rest forever because the work is finished! Jesus has removed every sin and consequence of sin from the world forever! I have a better Priesthood compared to the priests of Levi. Surely my words carry the ressurection breath of Christ as I speak forth Godly blessings and divine healing into Kevin's life and health. I believe my words have power over the death in Kevin's life! I declare that by my word, every controversy and every assault in my life and in the life of Kevin, shall be settled in Jesus' name!

I now speak to Kevin's kidney. Kidney, you who dwell in Kevin's body, I command you pay attention to me, the Righteousness of God in Christ and give heed to my words. You which is in Kevin's body, you are to recover and rid yourself of all destructive cells by absorbing the super abundant healing power of God into yourself this instant, in Jesus name! I command the super abounding healing power of God to surge into Kevin's kidney now! Deteriorating condition leave in Jesus name! I declare that kidney in Kevin's body shall not fail but my Generous Daddy God blesses Kevin with one more healthy brand new kidney from Heaven in Jesus name! Daddy God, you shall have to exceed that! Kevin's kidneys work at a 110% healthiness in Jesus name!

I bind all demonic and spiritual powers that are not of God, surrounding Kevin's mind, heart and being in Jesus name! All these will fail to manifest even the slightest bit of worry in his life because I plead the blood of Jesus upon Kevin. He is saved and rescued because Jesus died for him. Kidney of Kevin's, I pronounce upon you that you shall not die but live to declare the works of the Lord! I name you as the healthiest part of Kevin's body in Jesus' name!

By my word, I surpass the words of his doctors, his family members, himself and all others whose hearts have failed them at the worldly news. Because I am made a High Priest by the blood of Jesus Christ and I shall have whatever I say. Kevin and Kevin's kidney, you will never need to undergo dialysis treatment because I declare you to be so healed by the stripes Jesus bore on the suffering cross! Jesus has already taken that flawed kidney from you Kevin, and in exchange given you His healthy kidney that will never fail.

Kidney of Kevin's I demand you to obey the finished and perfect work of Jesus Christ. Be healed. Be restored and double into two! I bind all negative tongues that oppose my word by taking away Kevin's hope in Jesus name! Kevin's two kidneys are restored and maintained in newer than new state. I command the ressurection life of Christ to stir in Kevin's body this instant, in Jesus name. He is healthy and whole!

I can already see the look of surprise and impossibility from his doctors, his family members and those who have doubted, even Kevin himself will be touched by God's gift to him, in Jesus name! Lord, take away the bitterness from his heart. Shower Your undeserving favour and tender mercies upon his life right now because I, Your Righteousness in Christ ask in Jesus' name. Draw him close to you and use his healing testimony to show Your glory and goodness towards mankind. Never leave him nor forsake him. Change his heart and his mindset from fear to realising how much You love him. Give him a righteousness conscious by revealing this wondrous truth to him. Surround him with Your loving presence and touch his heart. I declare that Kevin carries the favour of God. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow all the days of his life!

Kevin's heart and mind, I command you both, in the name of Jesus, to be receptive, hunger, thirst and desire to hear the life changing word of God. In Jesus name, from where I am now, I call forth Kevin to reign in life, because that is the will of God! God is big enough and He will move from where I speak to reach out to Kevin's life and health and touch him.

This prayer request is obviously beyond me. I can never accomplish this. But thank God that He is all-able and all willing to fulfill this for me. Simply because he loves me and loves Kevin too, but will only move at my consent in Jesus name! When God and I agree, the miracle in Kevin's life has already come to pass! Where the word of a king is, there is power! I am made a King in Christ and I reign through the Abundant One! What I say, is all carried out by angels in he heavenly realm who will accomplish their task given to them by me in Jesus name! Nothing can stop my word and my request to God and His word shall not return to Him void because He is faithful always to me.

And so I can happily declare that Kevin's kidney is restored, is healed, is whole forever. In addition, Kevin now has two kidneys, one a gift from Daddy God for his 21st birthday. It is a year of accelaration for both of us. Kevin's is healed speedily and will never lapse into deterioration in Jesus name! I declare that the Lord is with him and he is a successful man. Whatever he does prospers and he lacks nothing in his life because the Lord is his good sheperd and he shall not want! His youth shall be renewed like the eagles' and God satisfies him with a long blessed life. I believe all these and it comes to pass in Jesus name! Kevin receives his miracle and his healing shall lead him to repentence. His heart turned to Daddy God forever, in Jesus name! Amen!

A new start

2005-12-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been onto this blog since the exams ended. But it's great to start again especially on boxing day. This christmas turned out unexpectedly different from the other years. Firstly Christmas Eve was mainly spent travelling alone on a VIPcoach from Malacca back to Singapore. I almost couldn't get back home because of some slip up on my ticket. The fault of the coach company; they told me they left out something. This resulted in an hour's delay before the coach left Malacca. Well, at least the ride was comfortable. I was contented with the presence of God and my mp3 player.

I persisted in coming back to Singapore because of one event. The NTU Christmas Eve party gathering at Jia Yi's house. I guess I must be crazy. Who on earth would travel few hundreds, even thousands of miles to make it for a party except me! On the way back, I thought alot about whether it was all worth it. To miss a day of shopping with my family in Malacca for a few hours of good clean fun and fellowship that could be done on Sunday. Will I even enjoy myself since I already missed the first half of the party? Was it worth all the taxi fare I had to foot? Can I even enjoy myself after suffering from travelling fatigue?

It is good to acknowledge the Lord's presence always because basking in His love refreshes you once again. His advice? Rest and enjoy whatever you are doing and it wil prosper. I'm glad I rested physically and mentally on the coach, instead of worrying about some cock-up. 'Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' This verse comes in so handy especially this Christmas Eve, when I travelled alone and almost felt lonely if not for God.

Praise Him. He is so faithful towards me. The party was great. I was glad to meet all the NTU caregroup people and vice versa. The catered food was delicious as well. I satiated my hunger with the lemon poached Salmon and some veggies, while watching the 'Blessed Christmas' Programme on channel 5. (So proud of New Creation Church, which helped to produce and perform this show; It's better than last year!) We had praise and worship after the TV programme that crossed into midnight.

The praise and worship was beautiful. I cried a little. Because it's such a special way to celebrate Jesus's birthday. (Worship is the highest form of praise to the Lord) Such beautiful songs like "You are so faithful', 'The Power of the Cross' and 'Hide me in the Shelter', led by Timothy and accompanied by Moses on the guitar, were sung. God's presence was so strong and passionately lovingly felt among us all. It felt almost like He was thanking us for remembering His birthday; the real reason why Christmas was celebrated, by showering His abundant love upon us.

I could sense His hug and His ovewhelming presence that just breaks down every fear inside me. No human love can ever compare to that. Jesus, the best way to spend Christmas is not the turkey, nor Santa Claus, nor the presents, but it is You. Just You alone, are the reason for the season! This is the best Christmas Eve party I ever had!

Christmas day itself was restful. I ended spending the entire day at home because I missed Church, due to a faulty alarm clock. So I did my own worship on the piano, beside the Christmas tree. Just me singing songs of love and praise to Him, felt like a renactment of last night. I never felt so loved! As if He was playing the piano through my fingers and singing along with me. You can be alone and not feel lonely. Because He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Kevin already had plans with his family and their relations for a Christmas dinner so it was imposible to ask him out. I tried a few of my other friends to no avail. Well, it's expected for the majority to have plans on Christmas day. At that moment, I felt miserable. This will really be the first time I'm at home on Christmas day. Sure, I very much wanted to join in the festivals going on at Orchard Road but it's different without good company.

I prayed and ask God for help. To my utmost amazement, the one person I least expected to spend Christmas with, called me. Jason was supposed to be one busy guy. So I thought he was joking on the phone. But no. Oh well, it happened that both of us were the only ones from our groupie that weren't serving with the church for the festival at Orchard Road. We decided to ask Ruth along, but she was uncontactable. So both of us decided to go, and perhaps try to meet up with the others who were serving.

Orchard road is CROWDED. As is sardine can kind of Crowded. But praise God, we had fun. Chilling out in Starbucks at 8.30pm, slurping on our frappachinos before checking out the procession. Wow, we bumped into a few of our friends indeed. Denise stood at the side of the float, directing bystanders to the queue for phototaking, infront of Paragon. While Seth was standing at one of the barriers facing Wisma Atria looking really tired from directing the traffic flow. What to do, he's in the misintry of helps, and they're great at ushering amen!

We crapped and conversed alot. Took lots of pictures with the decorations and spend time finding our friends. Incredible! I even bumped into Louis, my toastmaster mentor and Kelvin, our immediate past president. So happy to see them! I got a handshake from them each for my success on my project one and table topics! Heehee!

We decided to watch a late night movie: Chronicles of Narnia (The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe) haha, second time for me and first time for Jason. I don't know why we settled on watching the movie at 12.40am, because there was no time slots. We should have checked out another theatre because I could see Jason was really tired (Blood shot eyes, poor thing) by 11.30. We chatted enough and I told him to just lie on the sofa (we went to the 'Cafe for Friends' at cineleisure), promising to wake him up when the time comes. Thank God I rested enough during the day to accumulate the energy of staying up. I sighed and slurped on my ice honey lemon tea watching MTV programmes to pass time. In the end, Jason couldn't sleep. Haha, so we entertained ourselves with the TV. At least the seats were plushy.

Finally 12.40am came! Narnia is worth a second watch. By then it was me who felt sleepy. Jason was wide awake now. (Hmmm... should have done the same as him, napped a little while, but we might both over dose on sleep and miss the movie) Ohh... I sniffed again at the death of Aslan, who took Edmund's place to die. And I felt so excelarated when he resurrected from the dead! And the battle scene was matchable to LOTR.) Jason too enjoyed himself. Yea, we both had fun. All thanks to God who makes all our time truly enjoyable. Blessed Christmas to ya!

Romans 8:37-39

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‘Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors though Him who loved us.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’

Esther, you do not need to worry about your past, present and future homework assignments anymore, because Christ Jesus has taken the cause of all these worries and placed them in His body at the cross 2000 years ago. They do not exist. They have been burnt on the cross already. So surely, all your assignments; past, present and future are blessed with good marks. You will surely get good grades at one end of the semester and the year. Because God/ Jesus Loves you more than enough to make sure you do well.

Faith truimphs in trouble

2005-11-27T05:32:00.000-08:00

Romans 5:1- 5

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God though our Lord Jesus Christ

Through Him also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance I character; and character, hope.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

John 1:2 – Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your Soul prospers. (God will prosper your soul first before He prospers your hand, because blessings come from within, before pouring into the overflow) May your soul rest in the consciousness of His righteousness today, knowing that being right with God, you are in a position to expect good things to happen to you (including getting your homework and your revision done) – you don’t need to strive for it. To God has already given you the grace and the success to complete the homework. Rest in His finish work. And watch Him perform through you that by the end of the day, I know it is a day of impossible miracles being accomplished by a God whom everything is possible.

Do stand and not collapse in adversity. That’s all you need to do. Be a witness to His success in your life. No matte how tired or discouraged you feel from all the burdens and tensions of life. What do you ultimately trust in? The favor of God or maddening circumstances? Which one has more weight? Obviously it’s the favor of God! To not believe nor trust is to scorn His finished work! Do you get it? Do you wish to scorn Him? Certainly not! Then why do you doubt His finished work? Do you know how much He loves you? He died for you! It is His (your daddy) ‘s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Be of good cheer, for He has overcome the world. Let not you heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. The devil goes about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour May you be amongst those who are undevourable. Cast all your cares to the Lord, for He cares for you. The Lord has given you success in the year-end semester exams. You will certainly do well in all of your modules, not you efforts. But by the super-abundant grace of God that squashes every problem you face. What God has declared, no one can eradicate it, yourself included. You are blessed!

Proverbs on my life!

2005-11-27T05:29:00.000-08:00

The blessings bestowed upon the Righteous (me)- Book of Proverbs

I am what the Bible says I am.

I have what the Bible says I have.

I can do what the Bible says I can do.

Proverbs Chapter 10:

V2- Treasures of the wicked profit nothing, but righteousness delivers from death.

V3- The Lord will not allow the righteous soul to famish…

V6 –Blessings are on the head of the righteous, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.

V7 – the memory of the righteous is blessed, but the name of the wicked will rot.

V8- the wise in heart will receive commands, but a prating fool will fall.

V9- He who walks with integrity walks securely…

V11-The month of the righteous is a well of life…

VI6- The laborer of the righteous leads to life…

V20- The tongue of the righteous is choice silver …

V21- the lips of the righteous feed many …

V22- The Blessing of the lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow to it.

V24- The fear of the wicked will come upon him,

And the desires of the righteous will be granted.

V25-When the whirlwind passes by, the wicked is no more.

But the righteous has an everlasting foundation.

V28- The hope of the righteous will be gladness.

V29-The way of the lord is strength to-the upright.

V30 – The righteous will never be removed, but the wicked will not inhabit the earth.

V31- the mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom.

V32- The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable.

Chapter 11:

V2: When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom.

V3: the integrity of the upright will guide them…

V4: Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death.

V5: The righteousness of the blameless will direct his way aright…

V6: The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, but the unfaithful will betaken by their

Own lust.

V8: The righteous is delivered from trouble and it comes to the wicked instead.

V9: But though knowledge the righteous will be delivered.

V10: when it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices;

V11: By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted.

V12: He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbors. But a man of understanding holds

His peace.

V18: But to him who sows righteousness will be a sure reward.

V19: As righteousness leads to life, so he who pursues evil pursues it to his own death.

V20: Those who are of a perverse heat are an abomination to the Lord, but such as is

Blameless in their ways are His delight.

V21: Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished; but the posterity of the

Righteous will be delivered.

V23: The desire of the righteous is only good.

V25: The generous soul will be made rich, and he who water will also be watered himself.

V27: He who diligently seeks well finds favor.

V28: He who trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like foliage.

V30: The front of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.

V31: If the righteous will be recompensed on the earth, how much more the wicked and the

Sinner.

My confession

2005-11-27T05:18:00.000-08:00

Colossians 3:17

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

-You have solid reasons to do that because destiny is in your hands. You do not depend on circumstances of the world. In fact your actions influences the world!

Word-Speaking well because God has already given you the power to reign in life!

1) Praising yourself, your body-speak youth, health and wholeness and longevity. (The Lord renews my youth like the eagle. He has made me slim and tone in my body. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He has made me beautiful in the sight of all who see me.)

2) Your studies: you have the wisdom of God to understand every sort of criticisms the world offers. Be it literary or current affairs or history. You posses the ultimate wisdom of God that answers all things! (Blessings are on the head of the righteous! I am blessed! I have a God-given memory. The Lord has given me success in my studies. There ‘s no cause for worrying.) God has prospered the work of my hands! The labor of the righteous leads to life!

3) Favor showered upon your life. I expect good things to happen to me and around me because I have preferential treatment from God. I am His dearly Beloved Child. He is my daddy who will make the best happen to me and to the ones I care about. He raises a standard against the devil’s flood. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He loves me unconditionally according to His abundant grace and He gave me the gift of righteousness through His Son, Jesus Christ.

4) Protection and Peace. No evil shall befall me. Nor shall any plague come near my dwelling. I am sealed with my Father’s Name: Daddy! Abba! The Name that protects me from the winds of adversity, which terrorizes the world. The Lord is my defense. I will not be moved! He is my rock, my refuge, my strength, my potion; my very present help in times of trouble and need.

5) The Lord has made me rich. Both spiritually, and materially. My bank account has more than 5digit sums of money, in Jesus’ Name. The Lord is my provider. He will never allow the righteous to hunger. He is always faithful in prospering my finances. He commands the blessing upon my storehouses, and in all to which I have set my hand and He will bless me in the land, which He has given me. (NTU HSS is where I found my success!)

Amen Amen Amen Amen and Amen!!!!!

Because the Lord has already given me success in whatever I do, wherever I am, whomever I’m with, I do not have to worry about these things the world seeks. For I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus by His gift of dying on the cross for my sake and to sozoh me in all areas of Life! I only seek the Kingdom of God- the love, joy and peace of God. For truly, these are the true riches sought after by all. My Heavenly daddy has marked me for success! And now, I work hard not to earn my success, but unto God. I work from His Rest. I work hard from the overflow of grace. In appreciation to what He has done for me. Not to impress man.

‘And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord, you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. ‘

-Colossians3: 23,24

‘Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving; … Walk in wisdom towards those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. ’ –Colossians 4:2-6

Do not worry! Ever!

2005-11-09T17:53:00.000-08:00

Campus Message by Pastor Chin.- 1/11/05

Victory is mine for everything. Because God loves me and wants me to know He has set a place for me. Enjoy your youth because these years are where God shapes and polishes you up for the adult world. Don't worry for He will anoint you with His grace to get through this final phrase before adulthood. This is a time where there is alot of impartation of good things because He is preparing us, even if we don't fully comprehend everything.

2nd Corinthians 4:7-15
But we have this treasure in the earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; strucked down but not destroyed-

Always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

So then there is death working in us, but life in you.

But since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I believed and therefore I spoke," we also believe and therefore speak,

knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus and will present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

This tells us that we have a treasure within us. That we are the earthen vessel because our feelings and emotions are of the flesh. That part of us cannot understand the ways of God. But after our spirit man gets saved by accepting Jesus Christ, our flesh is not the true representation of us any longer.

We're hardpressed and struck-down in the midst of exams, but we will never be crushed. Because the treasure within (the Holy Spirit) is revealed when the earthen vessel (me) is crushed. Once we crack and show a leak of helplessness and desperation in our shell of self-effort, the Holy Spirit will shine forth from within us and lift off the problem from us.

Such troubling circumstances may not be very pleasing to us, but it is through trials and tribulations that we grow in the Lord, through seeing Him give us success time and time again. Our emotions and our mind (on the ourside of us) may feel the pressure. But never our spirit man whom has been redeemed by Christ.

So therefore, rejoice! Because the treasure that the world seeks lies within ourselves. Whenever times are bad, you are at the end of yourself, focus on the Holy Spirit. And the Life of Jesus may be manifested in our lives also. (I reign in the victorious life that Christ leads) I glory in the treasure.

The very area that you're weak at, eg. for me: French and coherence in writing for literature essays, God manifests His abundant undeserving grace that gives me supernatural results, because He did it. Not me. His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses.

Our afflictions are but for a moment. The exams are but for a moment. But God will make every good and evil thing turn towards my good! I only depend on Him. Not my results. I have undeserving favour from God, as I shed off my trust in self-effort and flow through His rest!

Take this attitude: Whatever you can see; it's temporal. Whatever you cannot see and its intangible; is eternal. It okay that you make mistakes, because those mistakes can be changed through the power of God!

Till you come to realise that God and not good results, will give you a blessed life, the realisation that you are nothing without God, that if God doesn't help you for revision, it's no point trying to help yourself to achieve divine results, you will remain the same.

Seems risky right? Questions like," What if God doesn't help me? What if He abandons me halfway? What if He plays a trick on me how?"

That shows how small your heart is towards Him. Hey listen! The God of the heavens and the earth gave His Beloved Son Freely for you. He gave up Jesus; the most precious treaure heaven has to save the wretch in you! For God to create the world, He had to speak. But for God to save the world, He had to bleed! He died for you! How else will He withold anything else that is of lesser value than His life, from you?

All the bible saints have this attitude: 'If God does not help me, who am I to help myself. As if I'm greater than God ah?' I have it too. So for this period of exams, no matter how much, or rather how little I prepared for exams, the victory lies in the undeserving favour of God in me! Victory and good results comes from the Lord and not my hardwork. For I do not eat the bread of sorrows.

But remember that God is not the one behind those circumstances, but it's the devil's doing. God may not be the author of bad things. But He uses the fallen things of the world to transform it for our good! Daniel was thrown into the lion's den because of a scam that King Darius was tricked into.

One will surely think that Daniel will die there because those were not cute baby lions. That night was sorrowful for King Darius as Daniel was thrown inside the lions' den because he defied the edict that said ' everyone must bow down to King Darius only for a month or so.' . Daniel disobeyed the command by faithfully worshipping God. The jealous advisors brought up his crime to King Darius who had no choice but to deal him this sentence.

Even though it may be trumatic for the King, Darius actually witness whether the God that Daniel speaks and worships of is real anot. Thank God, the next day when Darius dashed to the Lions den, he saw Daniel completely unscathed and at rest. Daniel, ever respectful towards the King, told Darius that the Lord had shut the lions' mouths. Thus living up to the testimony that God is faithful to those who trust only in Him and Him alone.

I liken my situation to Daniel's. There was absolutely no way he can defend himself from being eaten up, because he did not have any weapon of defense and certaintely not any form of supernatural strength. Me too. I went into French exam 15 minutes late, but with my heart at rest, I calmly managed to finish the paper 15 minutes before time was up. There was no trace of panic in seeing the questions, but a knowing from God that everything is going to be alright, as I fill in the blanks and saw Him doing the paper with me. Like Daniel, I know I will come out of the examination period unscathed.

And not just exams. For everything else as well. You too. Focus on the treasure inside you. Once you know how much God loves you, what's there to worry? Nothing, but a good expectation that everything in life is enjoyable and blessed!

Confessions of the Proverbs, power of the tongue lies with you!

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13:2,3 – a man shall eat well by the fruit of his month …He who guards his mouth preserves his life.

21:21 – He who follows righteousness and mercy. Finds life, righteousness and honor.

21:23 Who ever guards his mouth and tongue, keeps his soul from troubles.

Genesis 39: 2, 3

The Lord was with Joseph (Esther) and he (she) was a successful man (women) in the house of his master the Egyptian (in the class of Kenneth Chan/ Quigely/ Dawson/ Wagner/ Sabine)

And his (her) master (lecturer: Kenneth Chan/ Quigely/ Dawson/ Wagner/ Sabine saw that the Lord was with him (her) and that the Lord made all that Joseph (Esther) did to prosper in his (her) hand.

The Lord was with Esther and she was a successful girl in the class and module of HL 104: ways of reading by Professor Kenneth Chan. And Professor Kenneth Chan saw that the Lord was with Esther and that the Lord made all that Esther did to prosper in her hands. Such is her success in the homework assignment essays and year-end semester exams, Esther is more than satisfied with good results and grateful to the Lord.

The Lord was with Esther and she was a successful girl in the class and module of HL102: Survey of English Literature by Professor Patrick Brandon Quigley. And Quigley saw that the Lord was with Esther and that the Lord made all that Esther did to prosper in her hands. Such is her success in the homework assignment essays and year-end semester exams, with good results. Esther surely knew that it must be God who gave her such a wonderful miracle and testimony to His abundant grace.

The Lord was with Esther and she was a successful girl in the class of HL101: Introduction to literature by Dawson. And Dawson saw that the Lord was with Esther and that the Lord made all that Esther did to prosper in her hands. Such is her success in the homework assignment essay and year-end exams, unexpected to him, and therefore he knows without a doubt Esther has the Favor of God in her life.

The Lord was with Esther and she was a successful girl in the class of HL802: Engineering in film by Tamara S. Wagner. And Wagner saw that the Lord was with Esther and that the Lord made all that Esther did to prosper in her hands. Such is her success in the homework assignment essay and power point presentation and also the year-end exams, where she’ll waltz into it with ease because her heart is at rest with the finished work of Christ.

The Lord was with Esther and she was a successful girl in the class of TR80: French 1 by Sabine Moulin. And Sabine saw that the Lord was with Esther and that the Lord made all that Esther did to prosper in her hands. Such is her success in the assignments, aural, listening comprehensions and year-end semester exams, where she is aided by the Creator of the French Language, the Lord Himself to do the paper well. The Lord has given the ability of mastering languages to Esther, that she knows how to form French sentences properly. There is no cause to worry.

Esther is well prepared for the year-end exams because the Lord is always with her and He will never leave her nor forsake her. The same blessing that Jesus has is in Esther, because Esther’s standing is in Christ. She is secure forever. Thank you Jesus.

Mattew 6:25-34 in French

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Matteiu sis: vingt cinq -trent quand (Mattew 6: 25-34)

²⁵ ---C'est pourquoi je vous dis: ne vous inquiétez pas en vous demandant: «Qu'allons-nous manger ou boire? Avec quoi allons-nous nous habiller?» La vie ne vaut-elle pas bien plus que la nourriture? Et le corps ne vaut-il pas bien plus que les habits?

²⁶ Voyez ces oiseaux qui volent dans les airs, ils ne sèment ni ne moissonnent, ils n'amassent pas de provisions dans des greniers, et votre Père céleste les nourrit. N'avez-vous pas bien plus de valeur qu'eux?

²⁷ D'ailleurs, qui de vous peut, à force d'inquiétude, prolonger son existence, ne serait-ce que de quelques instants^[j]?

²⁸ Quant aux vêtements, pourquoi vous inquiéter à leur sujet? Observez les lis sauvages! Ils poussent sans se fatiguer à tisser des vêtements.

²⁹ Pourtant, je vous l'assure, le roi *Salomon lui-même, dans toute sa gloire, n'a jamais été aussi bien vêtu que l'un d'eux!

³⁰ Si Dieu habille avec tant d'élégance la petite plante des champs qui est là aujourd'hui et qui demain sera jetée au feu, à plus forte raison ne vous vêtira-t-il pas vous-mêmes? Ah, votre foi est encore bien petite!

³¹ Ne vous inquiétez donc pas et ne dites pas: «Que mangerons-nous?» ou: «Que boirons-nous? Avec quoi nous habillerons-nous?»

³² Toutes ces choses, les païens s'en préoccupent sans cesse. Mais votre Père, qui est aux cieux, sait que vous en avez besoin.

³³ Faites donc du règne de Dieu^[k] et de ce qui est juste à ses yeux votre préoccupation première, et toutes ces choses vous seront données en plus.

³⁴ Ne vous inquiétez pas pour le lendemain; le lendemain se souciera de lui-même. A chaque jour suffit sa peine.

What do I expect from my Daddy

2005-11-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

Dearest Daddy God,

You impress upon my heart that building and maintaining good relationships are the key to dominion in life. Because whatever happy or sad times we face, we can always attribute a face to it. But as I listened to the message of God today, I realise that the most important relationship to build is with you. Yeah. Thanks for impressing upon my heart the need for you to be in my life. Yesterday after reading John Donne's poetry, I felt mentally and spiritually drained.

That 17th century metaphysical poet obviously does not know your heart. You are all out to bless, to heal, to restore. But you respect free choice so much till nothing moves in our life till we ask you. John Donne doesn't get it. In Holy Sonnet 13- He asked You to 'Batter my heart... o'erthrow me and bend.' force him out of carnality by means of violence. He doesn't know Your heart because you never were a violent God. 'Divorce me, untie or break that knot again; Take me to You, imprison me...' There's no reason for God needing to divorce us from death because we have already been redeemed by Jesus Christ!

Indeed, in religiosity, there is much suffering. I looked at John Donne and I prayed, never to be like him. So what if his heart is in the right place? He's preaching comdemnation to himself, judging himself to be a sinner, thinking that his tears can wash away all traces of his sins. If he could, the poem would probably have a boastful tone instead.

Jesus, be real to me once again. I want your presence right here, right now. It's restless without you. Relationships is about communication. Teach me how to communicate to You. I know You see through me heart, I know You want to help me. Open my mouth with good words, good expectation of Your goodness once again. Lift up my discouragement about exam revision. Impress upon me that You are in control of all. You have made my studying good. I will not get beneath a C+ and You will surely excel beyond that grade! By faith I choose to set this expectation on You, not by my revision or the lack of it, but TRUSTING ONLY IN YOUR FAVOUR AND RIGHTEOUSNESS. For Proverbs says: The desires of the righteous will be granted. I am the righteousness of God in Christ! My desires are all granted. UNDESERVINGLY!(10:25)

I choose once again to hope in You. That by the end of today, I can complete studying and possessing every bit in my brain and heart, about the poetry of John Donne. Plus, to master French prepositions. I boast in my weaknesses that I cannot, so I know You can be my everything. In the areas I fail, You show Your glory! And make me a real testimony to Your abundant grace! There is nothing to worry at all! Jesus loves me. I am wholly accepted in the Beloved. The Lord did not give me a spirit of fear, but a Spirit of Power, of Love and of a sound mind.

My mind is sound! Take no thought from the devil for he is made up of utter bullshit and falseties. I choose to believe God. That He will use this period of examination and revision to bless me exceedingly abundantly beyond all I can ask or think. I am a conqueror through Jesus Christ who loves me. I abide in the Secret Place of the Most High, under the shadow of His wings. You are my refuge, my strength, my God in Whom I trust. Surely He has delievered me from the fowler's snare and the perilious pestilence...

A thousand may fall at my side, ten thousand may fall at my right hand, the blockage and fear of Examins and Examination questions and answers and grades will not affect me, for the Lord is indeed my very present help in time of need. He loves to meet my need and loves it when I need His help. Help all you want Lord! This is not cheating. This is lumbano.- Seizing as violently the promises of God in the same fashion John Donne wants God to seize him. Thank You. I rest in You once again.

You shall have whatsoever you say

2005-11-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

Taken from Pastor Mark Hankins guest message at the Rock

- Say this: This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can so. Today I will be taught the world of God. My mind is alert. My heart is receptive. I will never be the same, in Jesus' name. The Bible is God talking to me. The Bible is talking to you. You better pay attention.

-Mark 11:23-24

For assuredly, I say unto you, whoever says to this mountain," Be removed and be cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will come to pass, he will have whatsoever he says.

Therefore I say unto you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.

The lesson of the withered tree was that Jesus wants His church to be strong in faith. Jesus says in V22: 'Have the faith in God.'- literally means have the faith of God, having the God-kind of Faith or Taking hold on God's faithfulness.

The things of God are very simple. God is always dependeable and trustworthy, but we as believers are taught to take hold of what He has given unto us. When Jesus spoke to the fig tree,' No man eat fruit from you ever again.' V14 He didn't use a pocket knife to cut the tree. All He did was to speak. The fig tree promptly withered up the next day.

So what is He trying to say? From this, Jesus tells us,' What I just did, anybody can do what I just did.' It says WHOSOEVER. Are you a whosever? Someone ordinary? Student? The layman on the street? Ordinary so-so? Yeah! Jesus is speaking to you! Yo! He has given you the power to produce the results you desire in your tongue! And He says you have the excecute the power through speaking!

Not only that. He didn't just say whosoever, but also WHATSOEVER. The power unleashed through your tongue when you speak will not just work on people but things. Inanimate objects, circumstances, even simple things like Body fats.....Anything you can name at the sound of your voice, submits to you when you believe and speak. This is faith.

When we mention Faith, most people would think faith is believeing, faith is trusting God, faith is assurance. Yeah. But the first thing Jesus mentioned about faith is WHOSOEVER SHALL SAY. Nothing but opening that golden mouth of yours and speak forth the word of God and command whatever you want to see to manifest in your life.

Trust Him. How many think that Jesus can be an expert on Faith? Hey! He created the Heavens and the Earth with words! 'Light be and light was.' And God saw it was good- Genesis (the creation of the world) When all was still and filled with darkness, God didn't say,' Wah so dark!' God called forth what He wanted to see. He wanted light. So He called forth light. He wanted flora and fauna, and different animals sprang out from creation.--- And He calls them good. You have that same power to change your life, especially if you are feeling miserable.

Why speaking? I thought we should be emphasizing more on believeing? Mark 11:23 emphasize speaking 3 times and believeing only once. Why? Because, you are built to believe your own words. Jesus knows that when you speak, somehow in the process, you will believe what you say. So if you are not happy with your lot in life, CHECK OUT WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING!!! Sometimes, we defeat ourselves with our own words. Yeah... It means that our faith will never rise above the level of our words. YOUR TONGUE AND THE WORDS YOU SPEAK, DETERMINE THE QUALITY OF YOUR OWN Life!

Doubt still?

Check out the book of Proverbs which is the book of God's wisdom and you'll see it for yourself, chapters 10-11 especially, because they state clearly the ability in the tongue, the smallest member of our body. 'Death and life lies in the power of the tongue.' / 'In the mouth of a fool is a rod of pride, But the lips of the wise will preserve them' Proverbs 14:3

And your know what? The devil cannot defeat you anytime he wants to. Because you have the power to control your own life. The only way he could defeat you is by influencing your thoughts. It can be very simple. 'I sux at doing homework.' / 'My thigh is so fat.' / 'Old already, body not as young as last time.' Singaporean parents are very good at cursing their children. 'Oy Boy! You're so useless, cannot even get top ten in class... / You disgrace me man. / Why you always like that huh? / You never seem to get this right/ Talk to you makes me vomit blood ah!'
yeah, you know what? You will eventually puke out blood. Don't say I didn't warn you. For the Bible says YOU SHALL HAVE WHATEVER YOU SAY! If you believe you sux at homework, then you really sux! If you think your thigh is fat, yeah it's bloody fat. If you think you're getting old, you body says,' Prepare to die.' Ever wondered why your kids are so stupid? Now you know why. So parents, pronounce blessings over them. Say,' You're the best thing God has given to me and mummy (or vice versa), You shall have immense favour of God whenever you're in class. etc...'

People, everyday you are faced with a choice. Pronounce God's goodness or the devil's condemnation? God says to us,' I lay down before you, blessing and cursing. Choose Blessing.' Easy, but so tough on us. Especially those who have negativity oozing out of them for practically everything. Know your authority as a believer.

Yeah. But what if I feel like shit? Feeling? Emotions? If you decide to let yourself be swayed by emotions, you will never be stable. Imagine the times when you feel sad. 'I'm such a sad sad creature I wish I have never been born.' Die lah in other words. I don't know about you, but I chose to say,' I am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved by God! He is my Daddy who loves me so much, He cannot bear to see me worry for the slightest things!' If you bank on the word of God, and speak forth God's will in your life. You are indeed the heir of the world through Christ.

What if I'm going through a bad situation. I can't bring myself to say anything bad then. Well then speak good! Last minute studying and you panic. That's the time to speak forth good into that situation! In Jesus' name, my revision is blessed, My memory is Blessed, I shall have a good time enjoying this examination period. I rejoice that God will not let me fail. He will never let me be put to shame! He said I'm a success and nothing else can change that!'

Your voice is your address in the spiritual realm. When Paul and Silas was trapped and bound hand and foot in the prison, they didn't complain and blame God. Instead, their mentality to the devil was: 'Well, Mr devil, seems like you've done a good job. You got the guards to bind and chain me up, but you forgot one thing. You should have made them tape my mouth shut!' The Bible says Paul and Silas opened their mouths and sang praises and hyms to God. What they sang goes right up to God like sweet incense and delieverence comes directly to where they were heard. An earthquake occured looseing them from their chains and set every one in the prison free.

Mark 11:23 Speaking is made up of three words in greek. The first speaking is lego, which means a systematic set discourse. Jesus gave you a set of building blocks; which is the power to build and frame up your own words.

Next is epo, meaning to command with confidence. Assert your belief in what you say, because Jesus gave you the power to command things in your life.

Thirdly, laleo: to use your voice. To speak up and be bold. He shall have whatever he says when he speaks up with boldness.

Yeah. Your words frame up your life. When you start to say something and continue to say it, you begin on the journey to where you said. So it's very important that you hold fast to your confession, because confession builds the road over which faith carries its muddy cargo. So the devil wants you to take an exit or abandon the road you are building. Don't give in to him! Hold steadfast to the faith, by speaking and speaking till you achieve the result you want. Want to slim down? Say,'I have a gorgeous body with only 20% of bodyfat, slim and toned!' Want to be rich? Say,' I have a fat bank account that is filled with $$$$$ containing at least four digits! The Lord has commanded the blessings to fall upon my storehouse!'

Jesus in Mark 11: 23 tells the disciples not just how man works, but also how God works. Because man is made in the image of God, and God only goes by faith. Many believers and non-christians go by what they see. Thus they have no result. Change your mind today. BY FAITH! Right from the beginning, SOUND came before sight! God said A, He saw A. God said B, He saw B. You might say,' well, if I could see things different, then I'll sound different.' God says,' If you will sound different, you will see things different.' Act like its true, because it is! You are the righteousness of God in Christ. You have right standing with God! You can expect good things to happen in your life because of Jesus!

God moves not by needs but by faith! Faith won't move anything till it moves your tongue. God demands faith from us, because He has given us a means to attain faith. Faith comes through hearing and hearing of the word. Nothing but faith pleases God. Start listening to faith-filled messaged that center in Jesus Christ! Faith comes naturally and effortlessly to you. And when you believe with your heart, and speak with your mouth, faith brings your miracle from the spiritual realm and manifests in your life.

You can school yourself into faith with your own words. God also says,' He who says he lacks, what he has will be taken away from him. But he who says he has, even if he doesn't, more shall be added unto him.' God can take the little you have and prosper you. Jesus fed 5000 people with a small basket full of 5 loaves and 2 fishes. How did He do it? Matt: 14: 19 ' Then He commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass. And He took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, and looking up to heaven (seeing the abundant richness and provision of God), He blessed (Thanking God for His supplication) and broke (acting on faith because it's true) the 5 loaves and 2 fish and gave the loaves to the disciples, and the disciples gave to the multitudes.

The Bible proceeds in v20-21, the multitude ate till they were filled and there was 12 baskets full left over. The Lord will bless you with what little you have and multiply till it's much more!

Finally, I want to conclude with this scientific discovery: Scientists have discovered something that is smaller than protons and neutrons by colliding them with high speed super colliders. That thing is called a quark. (check the spelling for me) And they wondered what's hiding in the quark. Further research shows that quarks are actually made out of sound! You can remove the mountains in your life by voicing it out, because your mountains are made out of sound! So if you have a problem, you just need to quark it.

Dearly beloved, everything is made up of words. God has given you the power to call forth what you want to see. Won't you make good use of it? Speak! Speak! Speak forth the blessings of God. Read scripture and pronounce the blessed verses out loud. The only person you need to convince of success is none other than yourself. Speak yourself into Blessings! Amen?!

Because you're a joint heir with Christ. Jesus loves you.

The Kingdom of God is in you!

2005-10-31T18:16:00.000-08:00

Taken from Pastor Mark's Sermon: Believe the truth and You will walk in the truth

-The kingdom of God is not about how good you are but how good HE is. The greek word meta noya means to repent, changing your mindset. Unless you change your mindset, you will never see the kingdom of God.

-When I was born into this world, I was cursed from the origin of Adam. After I got saved from Jesus, I was given the spirit of adoption being a child of God. I was transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of Light. The old has passed away, the new has begin! I am a new creation, made the rightteousness of God in Christ!

-As a child of God, I am in the world, but not of the world! Therefore I cannot conform to the lifestyle and attitude of curse that the world carries. They are charged with condemnation and hopelessness, whereas I am charged with the Holy Spirit who lives in me and convicts me of righteousness! (Right standing with God!)

-The world lives by what they see. I live by faith, and nothing but faith pleases God! Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things yet unseen. I do not rely on circumstances to determine my success in life. I trust only in the living rehma (God breathed scrpiture) word of God.

-Ephesians 5: 18-19 'And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. Speaking to one another in psalms and hyms and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.' Abba daddy, give unto me the Spirit of Wisdom and revelation of You, so that my eyes can see Your glory manifest in my life on earth.

-Everything we can see, touch and sense, is temporal. But what we cannot see in eternal. God's word about me, saying I am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved, His word is eternal and He speaks the truth! Why then should I bother with what the world sees me as? (Truth outlasts fact!) I live like I'm blessed, because God says I'm blessed! He says that because Christ has made me Blessed through the finished work on the cross!

-Abba, You say the Kingdom of God is in me. (Divine prosperity and health belongs to me.) The exceeding power that raises Jesus from the dead is also in me! For He is the hope of my calling! Start living like what God says you are, Esther! God seriously has made you that powerful! All the power Jesus has, He gave it all to me!

-Esther, when you realise you are in a different realm of blessings in God, you will live differently. Know who you are in Christ! You are in the Beloved! Enjoy the flow with Him. Whatever you don't know, He will reveal to you slowly, Don't need to fret!

Start seeing the kingdom of God inside your being! Unless you know in your heart that everything has been done by Him who loves you, you will never change. When you pray, begin to receive what you want! Say what you want because the Bible states that you shall have whatsoever you say!

-Our problem is that we focus on what people dictate about us. Who cares?! We shaould be paying attention to what God says! Fine, you're into your last study week before the exams and people estimate you cannot make good for the exams. But God says that He has blessed you exceedingly, aboudantly above all that you can ask or think. So who do you choose to believe? The world? Or God?

-Don't forget, you are a beloved child of God. The world is lost and dying. Do not be dragged down by them. Lord, whatever blessings or good they rejected from You, don't waste it! Give them all to me! I'm a glutton of Your blessings and I am proud of it! Amen. I speak forth Good into my life! My exams are favoured according to His grace in Heaven. Jesus sits through the paper with me! There is nothing to fear because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Success is already mine, because He, lives in me and surely, the Son of God deserves to get all the As for exams

-Do not go against God's word by doubting and worrying. Say this: I carry and radiate the favour of God. My memory is Blessed because I am righteous by Christ. I am smart, my brain is anointed to have the ability to cramm months of revision into a few days. God has given me the supernatural capability to absorb everything I have learnt and to apply it well in the exams. He has armed me with wisdom, guiding me in my studies. Smile! Be of good cheer! For He has overcome the world!

-Salvation comes when you reached the end of yourself. I'm glad I gave up early trying to work hard, because I nearly had a mental breakdown. The Song; Still, by Hillsongs- goes:

When the oceans rise and thunders fall (In the midst of the stress, turmoil of exams and revisions),
I will soar with you above the storm (Jesus has set me far and above all principalities and powers of darkness, secured in the secret place of the most High- a place of success, favour and love)
Father, You are King above the flood (My Daddy controls all things, there is nothing to worry, for He makes all things abound towards me for my good!)
I will be still and know You're God (All I have to do is to be still. Rest and W.W.J.D watch what Jesus does, success in my exams, in my life.To be a testimony to His goodness and mercy.)

-Thus, never lie about the word of God in your life! When God puts you in a place, NTU for example, know that surely He places you there for success! He will SURELY, not maybe, SURELY bring you through everything. The Lord will use what little you have, to prosper and multiply your belongings, be it physical, or mental. Call forth the things you want to see.

- I call forth a good and easy time in exams, not having to struggle with difficult questions because He makes the correct answers flow to me immediately! I see this inwardly that He takes care of me during this period and I know it manifests outwardly! It is guranteed that I will have an easy and enjoyable examination, before I know it, it is over!)

-Reject all lying symptoms that go against the word of God. Resist steadfast in the faith, and the Lord will see through your breakthrough. He became sinned for me, so I can take on His righteousness. Believe it in your heart and guard your heart from worry. That's the only thing you need to do for success everyday. DO NOT WORRY!!! Be conscious of the KINGDOM OF GOD INSIDE YOU!

-Don't struggle with your weaknesses because you never can. If you can save yourself from damnation, then Christ died in vain! It wasn't your good works that attract Him to earth, but YOUR SINS, girl. He came for the sick, not for the well. He came to die for your sins! The blessings of God are not to those who deserve it, but to those who need it, who don't deserve it at all. You qualify? You know why? Because, you, Esther, are a total and utter complete failure in your efforts. You have nothing to boast about because everything you have comes from HIM.
-Yes. Thus I say that I gladly BOAST in my infirmities and weaknesses because His strength is made perfect in the area that I failed. Lord Jesus, I cannot study this Literature course by myself. I'll seriously die. And I know, this exam is a display of Your faithfulness towards me, Your love to me, that You will never fail me despite what result I get. Because it is not the result that will get me FIRST CLASS honours. I get my 1st class honours because of YOUR UNDERSERVING FAVOUR. I testify to that! In Jesus name!

-Lord, as I study, enlighten my mind to revelations about the texts and thank You for the ability to retain the divine ideas in my head. Thank You also for giving me the flow and the stamina without any form of mental blockage as I write essays for Your glory during the exams. That I can complete reading, understanding, possessing and applying well the texts I need for the exams. You are so GOOD to me. I rest as I study in You. I'm glad You're studying with me, because You'll never leave me nor forsake me during this lonely period. You are FAITHFUL. Use this failure in herself, Daddy. I am nothing without You. You are my everything, my all, my peace, my joy, my revelation, my very present help in time of need. Thank You for loving me always, forevermore, for your overwhelming presence of love as I embark on today's revision.

Daddy God- You are great to me!

2005-10-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

Daddy Lord, I thank you for today’s success in completing my HL101 essay with more than 1500 words. Thank you that you have given me the divine ability to write a good essay, different from other people. Thank you the essay will contain Your wisdom and maturity that even Dawson will be impressed. Your essay for me is a testimony to the world, that your use those who cannot to shame those who can. I can do it because of Your ability. When I am doing my essay, I thank you that you have already given me the drive and the flow of ideas to make me write with gusto. I shall not hesitate in Jesus’ name because You type through my fingers and you resound your fabulous ideas into my brain. Thank you Jesus, that we are doing this essay together, and it is a success!

Dear Daddy, remove all doubts from my mind as I write my essay. I need your divine concentration. Daddy, I know You love me so much you’ll abound all things for my good. You are so faithful to my requests, even if I forgot it. You make the dew of heaven fall on me like never before, even though the surroundings seem to be against me, I know that You have turned it around, all for my good. You have won the victory. I enjoy standing steadfast in the faith. Thank You that You have made me grow in faith with you. Resting on your finished work. The devil does not stand a chance against me because You who is in me, is greater that he that is in he world. Refresh me once again Holy Spirit and anoint my writings, You have certainly blessed the work of my hands. I know You love me, and You will never forsake me as I write my essay. You are helping me write it out. And I thank you once again, that we’ll finish it all by tonight. It is a good essay with an easy flow and succinct points. Only you would give me such a gift. Thank you Daddy. I love You too, because You first love me.

I truly start living when I know that Someone who died for me unconditionally did that because He loves me.

2005-10-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

As I spend time in God’s word, He renews my mind, soul and spirit. He reminds me that I am the righteousness of God in Christ. Not by my works, but through the death and finished work of Jesus Christ, who takes away my sins, infirmities, poverty, dumbness and sickness to give me life more abundant with Him, prosperity, peace, joy, divine health, soundness of mind, power and divine protection.

Christ and I are one together. He swore He will never leave me nor forsake me. And I tell Him, whenever people of the world, who are naturally smarter than me reject the Blessings and gift of God; Jesus Christ, or even the Christians who reject the benefits of the righteousness of God, I tell God not to bother with them and give their blessings to me instead.

God’s blessings is the one that I do not want to waste. My Daddy God did not give me a spirit of fear, like the people of the world, He gave me a Spirit of Power, of Love and of a Sound Mind. Thus I do not need to worry about today, neither about tomorrow, for He keeps me in perfect peace.

Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. I thank God that I am privileged to know that the one thing needed to be done everyday, is to be conscious of my Daddy God’s love for me and Him making me acceptable and loved in His sight. To know I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ. Knowing the Blesser makes all good things happen to me. I rightfully expect good things to happen to me.

No matter how bad the circumstances may be at the moment, I rejoice in His love, having a firm and unwavering expectation of overwhelming good things to come.

The devil cannot rob away my peace and my consciousness that I am righteous, by trying to affect my surroundings with temporary bad happenings. He tried to do the same to Jesus, but failed as usual. Jesus was sleeping in His disciples’ boat with them, crossing the Sea of Galilee. A huge storm came and threatened to sink the boat. The disciples panicked and woke Jesus, sleeping peacefully. Jesus calmly walked to the edge of the boat and commanded to the storm, “Peace. Be still.” The storm died immediately. He turned to His disciples and said, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’

I do not want Him to say that to me. I want Him to impart the same faith He has to me. I do this by relying on Him. As the storm cannot sink the boat Jesus was in and even died to make way for a fair weather, so shall it be in my storm of life. My storm consists of the November exams, worrying that I may not have the time, nor energy nor drive nor enthusiasm nor inspiration nor knowledge nor understanding to revise for my exams. As the storm roars, I remain at rest like Jesus on my boat, because He is on the same boat as me. How then can it be that I sink? On the contrary! Because He is in me, He is with me on the same boat, He thus faces the same circumstances I face. There is no need to worry!

Because He says to my circumstances. ‘Peace be still.’ And they died in my face. There is no need to worry because nothing can sink the Son of God. When facing bad news, did you for one moment think, you face that alone? No! You forgot that He faces the same thing as you. And did you think that He couldn’t solve it? Certainly not. Like the quelling of the storm, rest assure that Christ has already dealt with your problems. You will surely go over to the other side, to the victory of exams. He will surely make you reach your destination, regardless of whether how strong the storm is. The storm of fear, of worry, or lack of time and revision and understanding of how to go about it, cannot prevent you from reaching success in your exams. He has stilled the storm already.

Be of good cheer! For He has overcome the world. No problem is too big for Him to handle. Take your hands off your problems and enjoy your rest in Him. Your part is to labor into His rest everyday. Isn’t He good? He took away sweat, from me, by taking away the curse of the law, not the blessings. I still have the blessings of the law, which are the blessings of a righteous man. That I know, I’m blessed by His finished work only. If He declares me blessed, who can object to that? No one!

You hear me devil? No one! Not even you. And you are the last person who can protest and do anything to obstruct His blessings from falling onto me. Because you fight against the Beloved in Christ, you stupidly fight against Jesus, the Beloved of God, you are dead. You are in for some big time shit. Do not mess with the finished work of Christ. It’s pointless! Get it? Nothing you do can make me fall out of His favor. In fact, today, if you try to do anything stupider by afflicting my circumstances, I do not care.

Because you simply cannot. Anything you do today that supposedly harms me, obstructs me, will not succeed from the beginning. It will fall flat and you who come against me in one way, shall flee before me in 7 ways. God will see to that no one can touch the righteousness of God in Christ. My Abba Father makes sure that nothing except good and favor shall happen to me today. I can go to school enjoying myself. Enjoying handing up the essay. Enjoying doing the MLA format correctly. Enjoying consulting the lecturers and knowing the truth of my essays and improving on them. I have favor with everyone I meet and talk to. I have favor with everything I do and touch on, including revision for French exam.

I DO NOT NEED TO WORRY. My Daddy’s yoke is easy and His burden is light. I only need to pray in the Holy Spirit who will guide me into all understanding and revelation and the wisdom of God shall guide me with her discretion. As I embrace the wisdom of God in my life, Wisdom embraces me with riches and honor in her left hand and length of days in her right as she hugs me back. This is God’s goodness towards His Beloved Child. I only know how Big a God like Him is. He will surely Bless me exceedingly, abundantly, above all that I can ask or think. For He loves me. Enjoy your holiday in life Esther, Beloved.

You are a king and a priest. Let us not despise what we are doing. You are in NTU not by coincidence, but God placed you here to be blessed. Remind us of our relationship with Christ, the basis of all. Remind yourself of His love.

We may go through life needing a lot of things. But you have to come to that place where God is 1^st in your life. Do not let circumstances rob you of it. Ephesians 2: 13

V13. But now- in the midst of exams. We have been brought near by the blood of Christ

Do not let your heart be troubled. Nether let it be afraid. Be of good cheer. For He has overcome the world. Man can draw to God because Jesus blood was shed. All the Covenant promises and the blessings of the law are laid before you to claim.

Exodus 8:20 (Moses tell the Pharaoh to let the people go.) Land of Goshen. A place to draw near. It will make a difference. We are set apart from the world. Where the world suffer, we do not. Because we are so close in God. He helps us to know we are near to Him.

David is always rejoicing to God. Thanksgiving. Having a consciousness, coming back to Christ. Psalm 16 set the Lord before whatever we do, Jesus is always our righteousness. Trust God for wisdom. But do not trust in only your success.

To have right standing with God, we have everything. We are over comers. Confess good things in you life. You are given the Power to over come situations. Be Christ conscious. Focus solely on His goodness. When we focus our meats and minds on Him, we have wisdom. Our hearts are glad.

Our lives are only to see God turn our sorrows into Joy. Let us not be shy to trust God for straight As. Our confidences not in our works, but we dare to demand from the fullness of His covenant.

Be like David. He is at our right hand. You are only moved by God.

Be like Elisha. 2^nd kings 2: 12 v15. The spirit of Elijah rests on Elisha. Elisha pressed on. So should you.

When you happen to fail, accidentally or deliberately- what is your first thought that comes to your mind? Condemnation? Or knowing you are righteous in Christ?

Know that your relationship with God goes beyond feelings. God called us to say good things despite how we feel. He has done it all. You must take it. The only way to grab all of God’s blessings is through saying and believing, despite what you do or what you have done that’s wrong in the eyes of the law.

Know this, our righteousness is but filthy soiled sanitary pads. The moment you depend on your righteousness, you’ll fall. That’s why there’s a Savior for you. If you could do it all right, Jesus need not come down to die. It’s your sins that attracted Him down to die for you, not your righteousness. If you surrender to the fact that you are completely helpless in your problem or trial, it is only then that God can help you. Are you that helpless? Yes. I am.

I gladly boast in my weakness and not my strengths, so that Christ can dwell in it and use my weakness for His glory. Father, I thank you that no matter what I do, even if it’s deliberate, you are still my Father. Because I was never justified by the law, but by grace of Jesus Christ. His finished work on the cross over paid my sentence of sin, and His resurrection from the dead to be lifted up to Your right hand of favor is my receipt that I have been justified, and have right standing with You. The Blood of Jesus, and not myself have made me Holy.